MARTHA THESE DO NOT APPLY TO YOU!! IM BANNING YOU FROM ENTERING OUR KITCHEN! I AM PUTTING PADLOCKS ON THE DOOR AND ON THE APPLIANCES!
How each character is when in the kitchen/ their culinary skills (or lack thereof)
Sally Mckenna (but she's alive and you have a flat together)
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•Has not a fucking clue •Just wanted some soup from a can but has decided to wait for you to get home to avoid another fire •You've had to put child locks on the kitchen appliances •"What's this funny tea towel?" holds up the fire blanket you demonstrated not even ten minutes prior •Knows you'll cook and will thank her for not doing so, so she stays out of the kitchen
Billie Dean Howard
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•All Billie wanted was a cheese sandwich. Now your house is on fire. •She's happy though cause the fireman is hot •She acts like Gordon Ramsay when you're cooking but gets pissy with you if you try to tell her anything about food •Can't cook •Two shots vodka meme but as adding to your food when you turn around •Burns everything •Didn't even notice when you got a new oven •Keeps talking about hiring a chef despite your skills
Mildred Ratched
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•Meh •Depends on what she's making •Great at making sandwiches but that's where it stops (granted, better than Billie I guess and Sally) •Loves to watch you cook, like she films it and watches it when she misses you •Loves literally everything you cook •Constantly gives you new recipes to try •Supportive of all your weird cooking experiments, no matter the outcome
Xandra Terrel
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•Can't cook for shit •Watches you cook and tries to help but just gets drunk and in the way •Says you look sexy cooking •Tries to eat things before you can cook them so you never have the right amount of ingredients •Will eat anything •Can eat anything •Her meal is basically gone before you've even cooked it
Wilhelmina Venable
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•Bless her heart. She tries •Wilhelmina really does try to make your food edible (the main word there being "try") •Bless her she hasn't got even a faint clue but she really tries •Likes to take turns cooking with you but prefers your nights cooking •Sometimes breaks down because she can't do it and orders pizza •Has started multiple kitchen fires and always freaks out so you have to put them out •Once microwaved the wrong sort of plastic so you had to move out for a week •Has called you in tears whilst you were at work because she went home early to make you food and it failed incredibly badly •She just wants to do well for you •Eats everything you make and lives it all •Always. A L W A Y S moans at your food •Loves coming home and cleaning the kitchen for you •Finds you adorable when you cook •Constantly walks up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist if you're using the hob •Loves when you slow dance with her in the kitchen when you're waiting for the food to cook
