My very own wolf family

Chapter 26.

"I SHIFTED," I mumbled in my half-conscious state.

Although it was more of a statement, Jesse, who was next to me, still answered. "Indeed, you did."

"And scared the shit out of us, as well," piped a not-so-squeaky voice. Fynn.

Blinking, or what could be considered as blinking with my eyes already closed, I realised it was Fynn whose lap I was using as a pillow. It was also Fynn, who had brushed the hair from my face. Snarky Fynn. Rude Fynn. Uncaring Fynn.

How could the Fynn I thought I knew allow my head to be in his lap? The Fynn I know would say he didn't want lice on his leg hairs or some wolf-shit like that.

"Fynn's wolf-shit," Riana interjected, "mmmm."

Yuck!

Another cold breath entered my nose, sending a chill down my body. I shivered.

"Shit. She's cold!" Fynn panicked. "Get her a blanket, one of you pieces of wood!"

I inwardly snickered. Fynn somehow managed to be endearing yet his normal rude self, all in one command.

A cold cover wrapped around my body, my toes peeking out from the end of the blanket. Disadvantages of being so tall.

As the blanket trapped my body heat and slowly warmed up, I gathered enough energy to open my eyes. Worried brown eyes stared down at me.

"Chocolate! Someone, get a cup of hot chocolate," Fynn ordered without looking up, stuck looking down.

I felt the same way. As if only a rock landing and breaking my nose could cause me to tear my eyes apart from his eyes with layered emotions. As if one blink would revert everything back to before.

A minute into staring, or however much time had passed, my eyes were burning with great fervour. I took one last glimpse and tried to memorise all the feelings he attempted to portray without words.

I blinked and it all disappeared.

Fynn carefully slid my head off my lap and stood up.

The distance caused by his towering height strengthened all the emotions I felt. It was as though our infinite differences were being showered upon me in all directions. Differences I sensed would not change even if I were a shifter – which I now was. Like Fynn would never look at me the same way he looked at our other pack mates.

A cup landing by my side captured my attention. Accompanied by a gentle brush on my cheeks, "a hot chocolate to warm a long-suppressed bond between human and wolf."

I groaned as I carefully got onto my elbows. My arms nearly collapsed on me a few times, and I could tell how much my pack wanted to help me. I hoped they could also see how much I wanted to do this on my own. That I was independent and could exist on my own.

"But wolves aren't meant to be independent. They're meant to rely on their pack. That's what they're for!"

I've lasted nearly twenty years without using any metaphoric crutch. I can exist perfectly fine on my own.

"But isn't it time for you to maybe... let others help you?"

No. Let's leave it at that.

Riana didn't respond.

Sometimes, I would get angry at the world for not having people to rely on. That they were taken from me so long ago that I never got to know them well enough. Only their faces through a pocket photograph I carried everywhere I went.

I had been thrust into the world of aloneness at full force that day I came home from school and had always carried the bitterness throughout my life so far. That a metal container, deemed to be safe, had failed my parents. Failed the promise to bring them back to me safely.

Sometimes, I'd wave my arms wildly and curse at the sky. For stealing away a comfort which should've been mine for a long time. Breaching my trust and quickness to depend on others.

I suppose it does do some good for me. I had realised that after a long time of rebuilding my identity and sense of self. Making me guarded amongst others. Not quick to trust. Ready for the knife to the back, gun to the brains. Ready for the world to turn on me in an instant. Like it did when the Botox-filled social worker showed up as I stood in shock in front of what had been home.

Home.

Something I had lost in the middle of a happy school day when the plane blew up in the sky like fireworks.

When I looked up to stretch my neck after gaining a neck cramp from spending too long drawing stick figures of my family on the sandpit, I had seen the shards of shrapnel rain from the sky like firework residue. I heard gasps from the kids around me, who had also stopped to see the cause of the boom.

I remember the shout of the teachers on duty, screaming for us to run back to the classrooms. The stomping of at least a hundred little children's footsteps, their playtime disturbed. The man talking at their funeral, whose voice I ignored under the drowning white noise in my ears. The scream of someone's voice who I realised belonged to me; aged and foreign from the stress of losing my parents.

I took a whiff of the delicious chocolate smell before taking a tiny sip, testing its temperature. Too hot.

While I waited for the delectable drink to cool, I gathered the blankets and scooted backwards towards the wall behind me, pulling my drink along.

I could sense the curious gazes from the men standing near the door, silently watching. I looked up and patted the space next to me, noticing Fynn had left the room.

Instantly, four warm bodies surrounded me. Jesse and James sat on either side of me, the former's hand wrapped around my shoulder in comfort. The twins lay with their heads on my lap, staring up at me in a look that reminded me of cute puppies. Blaze lifted a hand and swiped at my nose. Definitely a puppy, I tell you. A cutie.

As I sipped my hot chocolate, James quietly spread the blanket on all of us, including Liam's face in my lap. He pushed the blanket away from his face, magically procuring another one to lay on my calves.

They could tell I didn't want to talk. They respected my decision. I adored them for it.

So we lay there in silence.

Breathing in the quietness of my room.

Staring ahead at nothing.

Quietly introducing Riana.

Allowing ourselves to be lost in our thoughts.

Lending each other comfort.

Basking in our presence.

Fulfilling a longing buried deep within.

***

A/N:

☠ RIP Her Majesty the Queen  ❤

A long chapter today with very little dialogue. Who knew Katie had so much to think about?

If only I had James, Jesse, Liam and Blaze to cuddle with! They're so understanding of Katie's feelings and inner turmoil.

QOTC: Which topic in maths do you find most difficult? Which one do you enjoy the most?
I find differentiation and integration super interesting. I think part of why I enjoy it so much is because I can find so many real-world applications. The geometric sequence questions at school are really challenging, especially when a whole buttload of algebra is added to everything. Ugh.

Happy Mid-Autumn,

-Hilda

Chapter 27: 17september2022 (you might even get 2 chapters if we get 14 votes on this chapter! Start voting!)