One mackerel please!

The devil wears prada

(This is a bit of a time skip to a couple of days in the future. Basically just a normal day in the office.)

The armed detective's agency was quiet, due to the fact everyone other than Dazai, Kunikida, Yosano, Atsushi, and Kyoka had left for lunch.

The silence was broken by a question everyone had always been wondering but had never asked. "Dazai, do you change your bandages?" Asks Atsushi.

He knew Dazai wouldn't reply if he were to ask what was under them, but his answer may give him a hint. Dazais eyebrow raised in reply.

"Of course I do. It's like clothes. I change them In the morning, after work, and before bed." He says as though it were the simplest thing ever.

Atsushi sat without speaking again for a couple of moments before asking another question. "Do you wash them? Or just buy new ones?"

Dazai pondered for a minute before answering the question." Well, it depends, the ones I wear at work I throw out at the end of my shift. The ones I wear in the afternoon at my apartment I use 2-3 days in a row since I don't do any activity to make them dirty. The ones I sleep in I wash because they are meant to be reused." Said Dazai in his flamboyant voice.

The statement caught everyone else's attention. Kunikida was using his past as a math teacher(or just someone who has a sense of money) to add up how much he must spend annually on bandages. "So how much do you spend annually? Aren't bandages like 7$ each? And you use more than one to cover your whole body?" Asks kunikida with concern.

Dazai shrugs. "I've never really thought about it, I don't keep track. If I had to guess I'd say about... 5,460 dollars on the ones I use for work. 1,560 on the ones I wear after work. And 10,000 on the ones I sleep in! So about 17 grand."He says in a shockingly cheery voice.

Kunikida and the rest of the agency's jaws drop in shock. Atsushi looked like he had just seen someone kick a puppy. "Think of all the tea on rice you could buy with that."
Kyoka simply nods. "Or crepes." She agrees.

Kunikida still hadn't said a word. He looked like he was about to but Yosano snatched the opportunity to speak. "Why are the ones you sleep in so expensive?" She inquired, genuinely curious as to what the answer may be.

"Oh well I have four pairs that I reuse, they were each 2500 dollars cause they are name brand." Replied Dazai.

Yosano sighed, unhappy with the given answer. "What brand is that expensive? Life brand is like 10 bucks." Said yosano, who was now convinced Dazai was lying.

"They are custom-made, you can't buy them in stores. They are Prada and haven't you heard the saying The devil wears Prada?" Said Dazai lazily as he laid down on the couch. He smirks contently at the joke ya just made, not that any of them would get it. ( the devil- the demon prodigy 😂 guys pls I thought I was so funny for this)

Kunikida now took his opportunity to speak. "You waste of bandages!! No wonder you make us all buy you Food, you spend that much of your salary on something you don't even need!" Yelled kunikida while choking him.

Dazai grabbed Kunikidas hand and said," I don't spend my salary on them."

Kunikida dropped his neck in confusion. "What?" The taller man questioned.

"I spend the money I made from my previous profession, obviously." Corrected Dazai.

Yosano rolled her eyes at him. "If you even had one." She said while laughing a bit.

Kyoka made a confused face. "do you guys not know his previous profession?" Questioned kyoka.

"No, it's one of the seven mysteries of the armed detective's agency, right along with what's under Dazais bandages." Answered kunikida.

"When I first joined the agency they made me guess everyone's past professions, I got everyone's except dazais. They even had a reward for if someone guessed correctly." Said Atsushi to kyoka. Which causes Kyoka to turn and look at Dazai.

Yosano sat down on the couch with Dazai. "Why don't you guess our past professions Kyoka?" Asked yosano.

Kyoka looked at kunikida. "you were a teacher, you're good at teaching Atsushi and I things." She then looked at the ceiling.

"Tanizaki and Naomi are students, but I already got told that. I assume Ranpo has always been a detective. Kenji probably didn't have a past job due to his age and attitude." She then turned to face the ex-mafiosos seated across from her on the couch. "Yosano, I think was a military doctor. You can see behind her eyes she's seen death."

Kyokas' attention was then directed at Dazai. She gets caught. She looks him up and down and gets caught on his fingers, she watches as his fingers tap. A decision is made, she's gonna take a chance. "You were a pianist." Stated kyoka with false confidence. She made eye contact with him.

Dazai claps his hands." I was, but that wasn't my profession, just something to pass the time." Says Dazai with a clear tone and facial expression of being impressed.

Kyoka sighs heavily. "But nobody has ever guessed anything about my past so I guess I should give you something." Admitted the bandaged Man.

He got up and walked over to his desk, the group of four following a couple of feet behind. He sticks his hand into his drawer and pulls something out. A raccoon plushie. Kyokas face lights up as Dazai tosses it into her arms.

"What are you gonna name them?" Asks yosano, who's smiling at the sight of the child Infront of her.

Kyoka thinks for a moment before replying." Karl!" She yelled happily. Dazai breaks out laughing.

Kyoka makes a questionable face. "Why are you laughing?" Asked Kyoka.

Dazai just shakes his head in disbelief. "a friend of mine has a pet raccoon named Karl." Laughed Dazai. " you should tell Ranpo, I'm sure he'd love the name." Which caused him to laugh more, knowing that Ranpo is jealous of Karl.

The group of detectives chat until the rest of the people come back. Dazais previous profession is left unknown, but they know one thing for certain. He Spends a shit ton of money on bandages.