who said family had to be blood (zombieland male reader insert)

chapter 6 ITS BILL FUCKING MURRY

*(y/n) pov*

its been about a day since I blew up that western shop and I do not regret it

but a lot of us haven't slept

columbus " you know I think sleep deprivation might be the number 1 helf problem in America"

witchita"well no I think it might be number 2"

tallahassee then chucked and looked at me

tallahassee " number 2"

(y/n)" very mature"

columbus "thats adorable"

I can tell he was fucking tired

columbus" im just saying we should find a place to crash"

tallahassee" oh I got an idea.  we're in hollywood.lets sleep in style"

he stopped the hummer at a stand

tallahassee" grab a map"

I opened the side door, get out of the hummer and pump my trench gun. witchita and elly then get out behind me

and here come the zombies

it was just 2 from what I could see so 1 shotgun blast to the face did the trick wilst witchita handled the second one

(y/n)" shotgun"

I opened the door it get into the pasinger seat but a 3rd zombie grabbed witchita by the arm.so I used that pistol I found in the sunglasses holder to gun that fucker down

she then scrambled her way into the hummer and shut the door as it sped off

(y/n)" you ok? did you get bit?"

witchita" no in fine.thanks for that"

she smiled at me as the hummer drove to...were ever the fuck tall wants

*timeskip*

columbus " looks like anyone who's ever been in a movie lives on this block"

columbus was looking at the map wilst tall just kept driving

tallahassee " what exactly do you think we're doing at 9.0.2.1.0"

witchita" i kinda pictured tom cruies living somewhere nicer"

tallahassee " B-lister to who I have in mind"

he smiled as he continued driving

tallahassee " were gowing to the top of the A list"

little rock and witchita " who"

tallahassee "you'll see"

(y/n)" so long as it isn't Margaret thatcher then I'm fine"

tallahassee eventually found the house he was looking for and it was pritty nice .the first thing I noticed about it apart from that it was huge was that it had a big BM for handle's

columbus " hey.theres a big BM"

tallahassee " and its not for Bob marly"

wate a fucking minute

when the hummer came to a complete stop everyone got out and started walking around the mansion

columbus " wow this place is incredible"

(y/n)" and thats just the entrance"

as everyone walked around the house we noticed all sorts of shit from fancy coutch's to real cool expensive painting's