The Warden | A For Honor Fanfiction

What is Needed

What is Needed
I learned a long time ago that if you do something long enough, there will be days where you want to do anything that isn't that thing. Doesn't mean you suddenly hate doing it, of course, but sometimes it just does not appeal to you, and it starts feeling more like an obligation than any kind of inspiration or passion. When I set out to become a travelling bard, I knew I was going to have days like that, where the spark just wasn't there and routine would be all that kept me going. At first I hated those days, and thought it was a sign I was losing interest and letting my dad down. Now that I've been at this a while, I know it's just a part of life, and these days will come and go just like any other.

I mention all of this because the days inside that broken down, barely held together fort were some of the worst of those days. The crowds really weren't much of anything, just the occasional worker or Ranger who was feeling down and was hoping for a little tune to pick them up. Sometimes there were multiple people, sometimes it was just one. Regardless, I was in that little cabin, strumming away when I wasn't passing out rations and medicine. Wanting to do anything else, but stuck playing while everyone else fought and bled. For now though, it was just myself and Nala, Berrat's wife and my performance partner from a few days ago in the cabin. In the absence of anyone in higher power, she'd become the de facto leader of those still within the fort, and a darn good one if you asked me.

She was running through what supplies we had remaining with a set of dark brown furs draped over her chair, all while I casually played my lute, trying to make sure it was still in tune and adjusting it where needed. I couldn't help but feel my thoughts beginning to wander as I did, wondering just how the militia and Liam's new legion were doing. I knew it had been foolish of me to hope they'd be back before morning, but I just wanted them all safe, and for all of this to be over. I'd had enough excitement in the past two weeks to last a lifetime, and I knew travelling with Liam would only make things even more hectic. Was it wrong to want a little time where nothing was happening? Maybe just a day or two where no one was worried over whether they would die tomorrow?

This wasn't even mentioning what Liam had been going through all this time. The poor man had been going nonstop the entire time I'd met him. Even our stay at Nov Domas had him patrolling castle grounds in the late hours of the evening. Had he gotten even one day where he wasn't travelling or been off doing something or other, whether that be fighting, gathering supplies, or just all around exerting himself? And that wasn't even considering whatever he'd been doing in the three years since the attack on Svengard, on his own and living day by day. He must have been so tired... I just wanted him to be able to rest, not have to worry about things for a while. Was that so wrong?

"You aren't selfish, you know." Nala had spoken so suddenly I felt myself flinch at her voice. When I recognized it as her, I settled down and glanced over at her. She was still seated at the opposite end of the room, looking over a set of documents as the candle light beside her blended with the soft red hues of the rising sun from the window beside her. Without turning away from the document, she eyed me from the side, almost as if she was paying attention to both me and her work at the same time. Honestly, I was thrown by what she'd said to me, did she know what I was thinking?

"I'm sorry?" I asked, not really sure if I was asking for clarity, or to make sure I hadn't misheard her. Nala smiled and looked away, picking up a quill and making a few marks on the document as she spoke;

"You want the Warden and his fellows back safe. It is not selfish to want them back, even in the face of knowing why they are gone." She explained. Well, I suppose that answered that question. Even with her reassurance, I'm not sure it made me feel any better. Validation over something is one thing, having said thing actually happen was another entirely. With a sigh, I stopped strumming my lute and laid it along my lap, resting my arms atop it as I looked at it and pondered my thoughts.