From the Other Side of My Bed

13. Pep Talks Vol. 2

I find myself on the other side of an unknown bed.
The sheets are like silk touching my skin, and it smells like dior.
I'm under the porcelain white sheets, looking for the other side of the bed, when my hand finds the skin of another. I'm spooked but I bit my lip and stayed quiet.
Did i...?
I remove the sheets off my face and sit up.
My vision is a bit blurry, and I rub my eyes to make sense of what's the situation here.
I'm in an apartment, or house, of a complete stranger without any recollection of anything, not even if I had finally had sex. I look to my side and find the naked torso of my sleeping buddy.
He has an undeniably good tan, the sort of tan you get from long afternoons in the Hawaiian sun. He has long, golden hair and he's facing the other way.
I don't know this stranger.
I dont even know if i fucked him or not.
Or if he....
Just the thought makes me want to die.
I lift the sheets and I look under to find nothing but me still with my clothes on.
"God," I whisper to myself, rubbing my face but then when my sleeping buddy groans and starts to stretch , I jump out of bed.
I grab a pillow and my phone which was under the covers and slowly back away from the bed, observing in horror this stranger look around with his hands for me, and when he doesnt find me, he pops up his head from the sheets and I scream.
"Wow, wow!" he says out loud, hands up and sitting up slowly. I guess that by my screams and horrified eyes, it makes him get out of bed and try to walk toward me but I throw the pillow at him and just run for it to the exit.
But he's much taller than me and larger so when I'm opening the door, he grabs my elbow and drags me inside as I start to freeze and hope for the best.
He turns me around as the door closes behind me and I close my eyes furiously as I lean on the door and have my hands on my chest in hopes he'll let me go.
But I only feel both hands at the sides of my head.
Silence.
"Please, don't fear me." he says softly. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Because you probably did!" I cried, my hands going to my face. "If not, why would I be here?"
"Because you were very messed up last night at Andrea's!"
"And that gave you the right to pick me up and take me to god knows where i'm at right now?"
"I took you here because you were messed up and you're at a hotel, a nice hotel, with hot breakfast if you calm down."
"I'm not a fucking dog to calm down! Imagine if you were in my shoes and woke up to maybe had been raped again!"
Silence.
His hands land on my hands which are covering my face in fear and grab them, pulling them down and with some dignity I have left, I raise my chin and open my eyes.
His eyes are like a soft brown, a little too light for brown eyes but they're beautiful and sincere.
I still dont fucking trust him.
Fuck that.
"We didnt have sex, nor did i raped you. What happened was you threw yourself in my arms after a while when i was dancing with you at the kitchen in Andrea's house and asked me to take you somewhere good. I'm not from here, so I'm staying in a hotel."
His explanation doesn't salvage anything, instead makes it worse.
Because I can't remember anything.
"Please, just let me go. I'm not taking anything from you, you can see in my hands right here that I have my phone and that's it, I don't even have a baggie shirt on, so you can see I didn't stuff anything."
"You need to believe I didn't do anything to hurt you."
I stare at him blankly yet I fear him.
"You need to believe me, please." somehow, his grip on my hands are getting tighter and i soon start to slowly position my knee between his legs.
"You were messed up and I helped you so you wouldn't land in the hands of some creep."
I just keep staring at him, keeping my breath in.
"You need to believe me!" Then he shakes my hands and that's when I hit him in the balls with my knee. He soon released me to grab his part and I managed to get out.
I ran down the hall as i hear in the back:
"You need to believe me!"

                                    -

"When will I get the results?"
The nurse takes off her gloves and walks over the small sink area with a frustrated look on her.
"You just have to wait. We'll send you an email."
Then before she leaves, she pats my head and says: "it was never your fault."
Then i just sat there, in that white clinical room, had just done another rape kit.