random ranting

College and Stuff

So, I'm finally in college.. It's both harder and easier than I thought it would be. The first two weeks, I was doing 13 credit hours of classes and I was overwhelmed by the amount of homework and reading I had to do. (The amount of reading homework at community college is insane) So, I made the decision to drop one of my classes so that I would be less stressed and so that I would actually have a lunch period. Now I am doing 10 credit hours and it is a lot more manageable. 

I ended up not getting a job last summer, but that's okay it allowed me time to do things I wanted to and to focus on my mental health. I got to be a Youth Camp Leader at my last Girl's Camp with my sister and it was so fun! We also had the wonderful opportunity to go to Trek. We ended up having different Trek families, but were able to have a tent together. This Trek was a lot harder than the first one I got to go to, but it was an amazing experience.

Recently, my boyfriend of a year and I decided to stop dating and to just be friends. I was kind of sad and just kind of shocked, but the weird thing is that I felt a little relieved. It feels so weird to not be in a relationship.. I feel like I wasn't the best girlfriend because I was always so busy and we only got to go on one "official" date. He was my first boyfriend and I hope that I filled that role well and was able to help him. I did try to help him when he needed help and when he was having trouble with his mental health and taking care of himself.

I had the wonderful opportunity to go through the temple for the first time. (To get my endowment) I got to go with my parents, two of my grandparents, two of my uncles, and an aunt. It was such a beautiful experience and I was so happy to be able to have that spiritual experience with my family. Since that happened, I have been able to feel the spirit more, and it has been amazing. I also recently turned in my mission papers, and am hoping to go on my mission in January.

In therapy, I have noticed that I am getting better. I have been able to allow myself to feel my emotions and give them a space. I have also noticed that things that used to cause me a lot of anxiety are causing less. It's nice to know and see that my therapy is actually helping. I'm also glad that I'm taking care of myself better than I did for a long time.

I will update this soon hopefully with news of where I'll be going on a mission. Remember to take care of yourselves and to look for the good in life. :)