The Right Side of Wrong

It's A Swamp Thing: Part 2

Veronica's POV:

So, after spending a night in a fancy hotel via my connection to Riddler, I lead Harley and Ivy down to Swamp Thing's place. Nora stayed out late last night, but I'm sure she returned safely to the hotel.

Harley: "I cannot believe we skipped out on breakfast beignets."

Ivy: "Honey, I'll buy ya 100 beignets when we find Frank. Plus, we can stay for a couple more days I guess. Just so we can properly celebrate Ronnie's engagement."

Me: "I know that's a promise you're making to distract from the stress, but we're holding you to it. You cannot honestly say you don't love walking through this swamp."

Ivy: "Yeah, I guess it is kind of earthy, and shiny. Picturesque, really. It's breathtaking. Dare I say, ethereal."

Then, we turn behind us to find-

Me: "Swamp Thing!"

Swamp Thing: "Ronnie! Glad you could make it. I loved your postcard explaining why this year's visit is so late. Also, doth my eyes deceive me, or is there a ring on that finger? Tell me it's Riddler."

Me: "Bingo! We're here to see you, of course, and to have an early bachelorette party afterward. Do you know my sister Harley and her girlfriend, Poison Ivy?"

Swamp Thing: "Of course. Hey, you two. Chai lattes?"

Swamp Thing hands each of us a latte as he leads us to his house.

Ivy: "Hey, is Linda home?"

I wince as Swamp Thing explains Linda's absence.

Swamp Thing: "No, it's ok. Actually, we got divorced. She said we weren't compatible, and also everything about me is disgusting."

We all turn to the doorway to see Nora walk out in a bathrobe.

Harley: "Oh, my God! Did you have sex with him?"

Nora: "Alec & I connected beyond the physical. But, yes, we fucked."

Swamp Thing: "Well, it's not every day that a beautiful and majestic creature stumbles into your home drunk at 4 AM. Anyone want refills?"

I hand Swamp Thing my mug as he walks back inside to refill mine and his while Nora sits across from me.

Ivy: "You need to freeze Swamp Thing so we can force him to help us find Frank."

Me: "What? No!"

Nora: "Yeah, I don't know if I can freeze a guy who was inside of me less than 24 hours ago."

Ivy: "But, he likes you, right? So just maybe, like, ask him to help us. He'll listen to you given the connection you guys have."

Nora goes into the house while Ivy wipes her forehead.

Ivy: "Oh, man. It's so goddamn humid out here."

I blow a nice breeze her way and form a snow cloud to appear above her head.

Harley: "Listen, I don't wanna force a conversation, but I understand what you're going through. If you or Ronnie were missing, I would be lost. Ok? And you love him so much-"

Ivy: "Babe, I'm good. You don't have to sweetly check in and all that stuff. I mean, we're good. I promise."

Nora: "Great news. We're going to get beignets."

Harley: "Oh, hell yeah!"

Ivy: "Wait, why?"

Nora: "Well, I went over there and he's just so sexy, I got lost in his vines, and then I felt weird about asking for such a big thing, and then we had a quickie, smoked a J, and I was hungry, so he suggested beignets!"

{Time skip}

Swamp Thing: "This line has gotten so crazy recently. It's a few Silicon Valley bros kind of gentrifying the swamp. They got the recipe from an algorithm and charge $9 a beignet."

Harley: "I cannot wait! I'll do 3 powdered sugar. Ooh, two chocolate. Oh, shit. Nutella-filled? Yes!"

Ivy: "Nora, I'm sorry if asking your boyfriend for a small, simple task is too awkward for you, but-"

Nora: "Oh, he's not my boyfriend."

Swamp Thing: "I'm not?"

Nora: "Well, I'm just not looking for anything serious. Also, we met 9 hours ago."

Swamp Thing: "But we connected. I let you inside of me, literally."

Nora: "I'm just having fun, Alec."

Swamp Thing lowers his head with a disappointed frown before a strong breeze blows in, and his eyes glow bright red as he growls. The trees begin to mutate as dozens of thorny vines chase after us.

Ivy: "Jesus Christ, Nora! You couldn't just lie and say he's your boyfriend?"

Nora: "I can't tie myself down right now. I'm in my sexual prime."

One of the vines whacks Nora into the river, and we get splashed with water.

Ivy: "This sucks. Swamp Thing is so sensitive. It's like Nora doesn't wanna date his soft, country ass so he destroys everything."

Harley: "As your girlfriend, he's being totally fucking annoying, and it fucking sucks. As a psychiatrist, this is not healthy."

Me: "But the swamp hurricane is a reflection of his inner trauma."

Harley: "Huh, he clearly has a lot of pent-up emotional baggage that he needs to work through."

Ivy: "He's a grown-ass plant man. He's having a temper tantrum, and it's literally affecting the ecosystem."

Then, a giant version of Swamp Thing's head appears behind us.

Swamp Thing: "I'm too sensitive, huh?"

He uses three vines to tie Harley, Nora & me up as Ivy approaches him.

Ivy: "All I was trying to say was that you could chill out a little."

Me: "Alec, remember what we discussed last year. Just breathe and-"

Swamp Thing: "No! You never let me express myself, Ivy. This is why we stopped being friends."

Ivy: "Didn't we stop being friends because I wanted to destroy humanity?"

Swamp Thing: "Sure, that wasn't the best, but it was mostly that you were a shitty friend. I would listen to you for hours complaining about humans being the worst and how you didn't understand the appeal of those bougie Lacoste polos. But if for a second, I tried to discuss my impending divorce with Linda, and how it was ripping my heart apart, you would find some excuse to leave. You have no idea what it means to lose someone important to you. You're so selfish."

Ivy: "Oh, I don't know what it feels like to lose someone? The only reason why I came down here is because I lost my best friend. He's the only person who understood me as me before Ronnie & Harley. I'm so worried about Frank, and I don't know where he is, and I can't find him in the Green because I'm not strong enough. And every second that I spend here, he's slipping away from me. Maybe forever. And it's my fault and I need to get him back and I have to. I have to get him and I can't."

Swamp Thing releases us from the vines as Ivy falls to her knees crying, and he pulls her into a hug.

Swamp Thing: "Thank you for letting me into your heart. It means so much. Let's find Frank."

TO BE CONTINUED