Hottie

Prologue

It was sunny day, but I wasn't happy. I sat alone at a park, crying because I just got a message from my ex. There he told me that he and his fiance were going to have a wedding. I thought about that day I met him.

I was walking to a bar. I stepped inside and ordered a drink. I saw a man coming to me, but I acted like I didn't. "Hi, I'm James. Nice to meet you! What's your name, hottie?" He asked.

I smiled. I knew that this could be something, but I also knew that it wouldn't last for ever. "It's Regulus, but you can call me Reg. How about if we go outside?"

James nodded and we walked outside. Now I took closer look at him. He was taller than me and had glasses. His hair was black and messy. "Be honest, what do you think about me?" I asked.

He turned to me, smiling. He took my hand and kissed it, but didn't let it go after. "Honesty, I think you are hot, nice, and I would like to kiss you."

I blushed. "Pretty well for knowing me only for few minutes, don't you think?" I asked. "Mhm."

I smiled, and then leaned slowly closer him. I stood on my toes, to be tall enough, and kissed him. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed. We kissed slowly, but it was all I wanted. It was like there wouldn't have rained or there wouldn't have been cold. All I felt was him, and that's all I needed.

After a moment we pulled away, and he gave me a piece of paper. "My number." He said, and walked away.

I bought tears in my eyes, to think about it. Next day I had called him, and it was huge mistake. That's where my downhill started.

I knew I had to go, so I stood up and went to those stupid weddings. There everyone smiled at me. James came to me and hugged me. "It's lovely that you came, Reg." He let me go and I looked into his eyes. They were brown. I didn't regonize him anymore. He was just stranger.

He then whispererd to me: "Don't tell anyone, but Lily is pregnant!" I smiled to him, but I couldn't help tears coming from my eyes. "How awesome, Jamie!" I said.

He then hugged me again. "Awwhh Reggie! I haven't seen you cry by joy!"

'That's because I never haven't. I'm not now eather.' I thought. Then he left. He knows everything about me, at least almost. My every secret, with what he could destroy me. I thought another day of when I was happy.

I smiled to him. He was just so perfect. I took his hand and kissed it. "After you, my prince." I said. He giggled. I kissed his head and laughed. We had much fun. We started walking together to James's flat. When was my time to say goodbye to him, I kissed him and whispererd: "I love you".

He never said it back, so that's why I wonder, why I still care and love him? I would do what ever he would ask. I was completly under his control.

I knew I couldn't take it, so I left. Again new thing what I shouldn't have done. James would be sad, but I had to put a line somewhere! Oh, how much I missed the days I was happy. He was my everything, but if I haven't talk back to him, I wouldn't be sad.

-_-_-_-_-_-_- James POV -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was still in my mind. That when Reg started to cry by joy when I told him that Lily was pregnant. It felt bad to lie to him, but I really wanted to know how he would react. The thing was, that I never have seen Reg crying by joy. So I started to wonder, was it joy? And when I realized that 'shit, it wasn't joy', I felt bad. Then I started to think, that did I really want this? Did I really want to marry Lily? I thought about our relationship with Lily. How I wanted to protect her. But kissing her didn't just feel right. She was more like a little sister to me.

I told her that. And she wasn't sad. She told me that she had realized that she didn't love me like that eather, but didn't want to hurt my feelings. So we went, and told everyone, and no one killed me or her, so everything was fine.

But then I noticed that I didn't see Regulus anywhere. I left to look for him. I wanted to know where he was. Suddenly I stopped, because I realized that I still loved him and that he still loves me. It all made sense now! How he looked so broken when he looked at me, like he would want me to tell him something. How his smiles didn't look real when i told him about Lily. How he didn't talk much. How he is always writing or reading. How he isn't him anymore. That him who called me that one day. He's now only something, what I broke. I felt more than bad, after this.

I started to run. I wanted to hug him. He was perfect, but he had very good talent to hide his feelings when he is sad, and that is a bad thing.

Soon I found him too. He was walking slowly away. "Regulus!" I shouted. He turned around and stopped. He smiled to me, but I could see he had been crying. "Hi James!" He said.

I ran to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so so so so so sorry, Regulus!"

"What's wrong?"

Then I kissed him. He started to cry, Probaly all the memories coming in his mind. We pulled apart and then I whispererd "I love you."

He smiled, it wasn't fake this time. "It took you long enough. I already thought how I should have never done anything what I have done with you."

I hugged him tight again. "I am so so sorry, I should never had came to talk with you that night. I just ruined your life! Will you ever forgive me?" I asked, crying. He sighed. "I just want you to understand how much it hurt me. How much it hurt me when you didn't answer to my 'I love you' until now. How much it hurt that you still kept me close. How you told me how awesome your life is with that redhead. How you didn't give me a chance to get over it, because you don't love me, you thought I wouldn't love you eather and would get over it. Now I think I will never get over it. I couldn't sleep because night was only time for me to cry! How Sirius hates me just because I love you!" He cried.

I cried too. I had literally destroyed his life. "But I do love you!" I said and tried to hug him but he pulled me away.

"Don't  touch me Potter! If you would love me, you wouldn't had let me go. I was all by myself when they used fucking crucuio! You wasn't there! Now all I have is my broken shield and a broken heart! You didn't give me time when I needed it!"

"I know Reg, I am so sorry! I really am, and I really do love you."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, POTTER! YOU NEVER HAVE! YOU NEVER LET ME HEAL MYSELF! LIKE NOW, I AM TRYING TO ESCAPE, BUT YOU RAN AFTER ME! GOOD BYE POTTER!" He screamed. He hit me really hard, that hard I fell on the ground. "That pain, every. Fucking. Second." He whispered.

Then he left. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at myself. How I am too selfish to let him be. I had always loved him, I knew it now. But I never told him. I let his hope go away, tell him when he didn't trust me anymore. I had thought that I was very much with him, but I never was there when he needed someone, I was there only when he wanted to be alone. I decided to let him be, at least now.