the unwanted child

Chapter 3 : Loneliness Was My Best friend.

Troy had brought me to her; I was about to meet the devil disguised as a human. She was none other than Gina. She had been released from prison. She was short and petite, with snow-white skin. Her eyes were stunning, and her hair was cut short. When she saw me, she burst into tears and hugged me. I simply patted her back, being the soft-hearted child that I was. I looked up at Troy, still unsure who she was. who then rocked my world by revealing that the woman in front of me was my biological mother. I panicked and began pushing Gina away from me as I ran to Troy. He kept telling me to go to Gina and to call her Mummy. I refused and wept. I recall looking at Tina and saying, "Mummy there." Thinking back on this incident, it still hurts me to learn that I was not Tina's biological daughter. Gina was taken aback because I didn't recognize her. She, of course, cried even more. Finally, I was told to address her as aunty mummy. That did not sit well with her. I realized my birthday was going to be ruined. My oldest brother, Roy, stepped in and told everyone to give me a break and that I would eventually come around. That's where they were completely wrong. We went to a large table that had a five-tiered cake that was almost my height on it. That kept me busy for a while. Everything went swimmingly that day. I tried to avoid Gina at all costs; she had her eyes on me the entire time, which scared me. I had a strong feeling she was going to kill me at some point. Tina was again gracious in allowing Gina to stay in her home because she had recently been released from prison and my grandfather did not want Gina anywhere near him. Finding out his daughter was in prison for the crimes she committed embarrassed him. My grandfather Ali was a tall, handsome man who was always generous. He was filled with love, and my grandmother normah was as well. They were so special to one another. They have never known what went wrong with their children. How did the majority of them end up being such horrible people?

Tina left me at home with her instead of bringing me to work since Gina started staying over. I was angry and upset, and I began to lose trust. But I guess she thought I should take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with my mother. You know, sometimes adults believe they are doing the right thing, but they are causing more harm. Nobody knows that Gina has some psychological issues. It could be due to my father's battering or drug abuse. either one or both. When Gina went down to the shops one day, she asked me to accompany her, which I did. I saw my favorite chocolate and was so desperate for it that I asked Gina to buy it for me. She kept saying, "No, I won't." Of course, I had a temper tantrum. I was already annoyed by everything that was going on around me, so being denied chocolate made me explode. Nobody would have believed what they saw because I was always a quiet, mummy's girl. Gina couldn't keep up with me and became abusive. She dragged me home and began crying. I approached her right away because I felt I was at fault. Later, I realized she didn't have any money and couldn't afford to buy me that chocolate. I felt terrible for her and began to get closer to her. Tina gradually began to drift away. I miss her, but I'm angry about it. I was still bothered by the adoption news. Even now, I can't believe Gina is my biological mother; I kept thinking she was a babysitter or something. Tina may no longer love me and does not want me near her. All of this was running through my head when I was five years old. Also, I had a healing burn on my genitals, so it itches and I scratch it occasionally. Gina caught me scratching my genitals one afternoon while I was napping. I didn't tell her about the burning incident I had with Esther.

Things began to go missing quickly. Tina initially mistook me for the person who took things and left them somewhere. However, I refused. Why would I want to take jewelry? I only collect trash that people throw away, and if it still works, I take it home, wash it, and keep it. I once saw someone throw a nice new bunch of plastic flowers. They were beautiful, but they were still wrapped in plastic. I brought it home and later gave it to Gina. Troy was not at home much at the time because he was either away for soccer or working. I was left with this stranger named my mother, and I had no choice but to accept it Jeff, Tina's coworker, dropped by one day. He is someone whom I will never forget. He is the reason I enjoy bowling. He would take me to a bowling alley and teach me how to bowl. He was very fatherly and lavished me with food and candy. He was sincere. I was always excited to see him. He and Tina were dating, but I didn't realize it until later in life. So he sat in the chair, looking drunk. I inquire as to his well-being. He said yes, and he was simply tired. But this was not at all like him. I went in to inform Gina, who was resting, that he appeared depressed. She then ignored me and went back to sleep. I had a bad feeling and decided to go to the hall to check on him; what I saw made me cry. His arms were dripping with blood. It had gotten all over the floor. I began screaming at Gina, who was now on the phone with her boyfriend. She dashed over and wrapped a cloth around his hands right away. After things have calmed down. He claimed Tina refused to return his passport. Gina, who knew where it was, did the unthinkable. She broke the drawer, took it, and handed it to him. I've never understood why Tina would ever do this to him. As a result, this incident influenced my opinion and trust in Tina. I witnessed a soft, gentle man inflicting harm on himself as a result of her actions. I suddenly recognized Gina as the good guy.

A heated argument ensued when Tina returned from work. Tina filed a complaint, accusing Gina of stealing Nurmour's missing item. However, the officer did not pursue the case, instead telling Gina to find a place to stay. Even so, I'm not sure if Gina ever stole anything. Was the mother I adored fabricating a lie, or is the mother who claims to be my biological mother the good person? Gina left me just like that. I was broken. By then, I was turning into a rebellious child. I was enrolled in kindergarten two the following year, having skipped kindergarten one because Tommy refused to give Tina my birth certificate.

Life went on, and Gina came over once a month to see me. Her boyfriend's name is John. He works as a cop. It appears that my grandfather wanted him to marry Gina. She accepted to make amends for her error. John was very accepting of me. He even got me a junior police uniform and had me photographed in a studio. On the other hand, I was growing increasingly lonely. Tina was always working. Troy was away serving in the army, and even if he returned home, he would be sleeping. I loved Troy even though he had a terrible way of disciplining me. He has been my father since the day I was born. I cry a lot because I can't stand the loneliness. I didn't know whom to talk to. I started talking a lot to my imaginary friends. There is a neighbor who lives directly below me and has three children. There are two boys and one girl. I never liked the oldest one because when I went over, he locked me in a room with a cowboy statue without arms, and when I cried and told him to open up, he found joy in it. The daughter, on the other hand, was a lovely lady who would paint my nails, and the younger son would play with me and treat me as if I were a sibling. But, because of my eating habits, I never liked going there after a while. I was not only slow, but I also disliked the taste of any meat. So if I taste it, I usually puke. I told Tina one day that I was done going there because our neighbor tried to force the meat down my throat and when I puked, she slapped me on the mouth while screaming at me to swallow.

I remember Troy coming to get me after school and bringing his then-girlfriend Jessica with him. She had such a beautiful heart. She was wonderful to me and such a lovely person. She had natural curls, large hazel-brown eyes, and the sweetest smile. Troy will give me money to buy some snacks for myself to eat while walking home with them. We'd usually sing and dance like no one was watching, and those were my happy times during this trying time. But it wasn't always this way. Despite his best efforts, Troy was still in his teens and venturing out. Life moved on, and I no longer saw Jessica coming over after a while. She was gone just as I thought I had someone who cared about me. Troy and Jessica's relationship did not work out. I had to re-adjust to it. It got to the point where I realized that not everyone is here to stay. They are merely transitory. I never got to say goodbye to Jessica, but I knew she came from a broken family and grew up in a convent. She even suggested to Troy that I get a hamster when she taught me something I was always eager to learn. Since then, I've had a strong affinity for animals. I became so close to my hamster that it would sleep with me during my naps. However, one day I misplaced my hamster. It got out of the cage and I never found it again. I hated my life, so why was nothing staying with me forever? Was I cursed as a child? I began to believe that I was unlucky, that no matter where I went, I would never find someone to love me forever.

To be continued......