Pieces of Us (SatoGou)

Chapter 5

It's late by the time we arrive back at the gym. The others are all itchy with anticipation for the wedding, so most of them head straight to bed. I try, but end up lying awake, staring at the ceiling until I give in and get up again, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and shoes and wandering out into the corridor. I head downstairs through the dark, bee-lining for the garden, and the fresh air waiting there. I reach the doors to the gym, but stop just short of them when I hear voices float out from inside.

"I wish you'd stop, Gary," Goh says. He sounds irritated. I pause, debating giving up on going outside and just heading back to bed, but unable to move myself.

"Just wish I understood, that's all," Gary sighs. I hear the clink of a bottle. They must be drinking. Misty is staying with her one of her sisters in their apartment tonight, so they won't see each other until the wedding.

"People change, I guess. He's not the same person, and neither am I." I realise they're talking about me, and my breath catches in my throat. I shouldn't be listening in on this. I should head back up before I hear more, but I can't make my feet move. I furrow my brow and edge closer to the door quietly, waiting for Gary's response, leaning back against the wall.

"I don't know. He seems pretty much the same to me. Just older. Calmer. Less... dense." I can practically hear his shrug.

"Everyone acts like it's a choice. If I could be friends with him again, well I... I might. But it's not that easy. Even when he's right beside me, it feels like we're worlds apart. We just can't connect anymore." I hear him shuffling, like he's uncomfortable. My chest is tightening more with every word. "There's too much said and done now. No way to bridge the gap when it's so wide."

I push away from the wall, sucking in a breath, and push through the doors. Gary and Goh are indeed drinking from whiskey glasses at one of the tables set up for the wedding, the bottle half-empty on the tablecloth between them. They look up at me as I enter, and I watch Goh's jaw harden. His whole expression changes, warm to cold in seconds.

"Hey," Gary says. "Can't sleep?"

I shake my head, shoving my hands in my pockets. "No. Are you nervous?"

He grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Maybe a little. Want a drink?"

I shake my head again. "Nah. Just wanted some fresh air. Thanks, though." I start to walk past them with a wave of my hand, and don't look back until I've pushed out of the double doors at the other end of the room into the gardens.

The air is chilly, and the gardens are dark, the moon hidden away behind the clouds, but I wander around for half an hour or so before heading back inside. Goh and Gary are gone when I do, the bottle gone with them. I head back up and lie in bed, repeating Goh's words over and over in my head, and wondering why they're affecting me as much as they are.

— — —

For a few blissful moments in the morning, I forget where I am, and think I'm in my dorm at CCU again. I close my eyes and start to drift back to sleep when Dawn bursts in my room, waving her hands frantically.

"Get up! Get up!" She shouts. "God, Ash! Do you ever set an alarm?"

I sit up groggily, and as my vision clears I realise she's already dressed in her bridesmaid's dress- a lavender silk chiffon dress with spaghetti straps. Little white flowers have been woven into her hair, and she's wearing makeup. Then it hits me that if she's ready, I'm also supposed to be.

"Shit," I say, throwing the covers off, forgetting that I'm only wearing boxers. Dawn shrieks and turns away, throwing a hand over her eyes. "Sorry!"

I start to head for the bathroom, but Dawn drops her hand, suddenly not caring about my lack of pants. "No time for a shower." She leans in and sniffs me, ignoring the face I pull at her. "It's fine, you don't smell."