Shooting Star (Completed) [R-18]

9 : A

Martee

Gabi na ng makauwi kami sa bahay. Pagod na ako ngunit hindi ko iyon pinakita pa. Santi drove me to the hospital and had waited for me for almost four hours. Hindi ko rin siya nakitaan ng gulat sa kaniyang mga mata ng malaman niya ang sitwasyon ni lola. That means he knows that my grandmother is in the hospital and is in the ICU.

Ang sabi sa akin ng doctor, iyung mechanical ventilator nalang ang bumubuhay sa lola ko and they gave me the decision to choose whether to continue monitoring my grandmother or to unplug the machine.

My heart cried with too much pain. Halos hindi ko iyon maitago pa. Nang makarating kami ay hindi ko na siya pinapasok pa sa gate.

" Let me take it from here" I told him but he didn't mind what I've just said and continued driving inside. The guard opened the gate for us. I wanted to stop him from whatever he's doing but I guess I'm too tired to do it.

Lumabas na ako ng sasakyan. He parked the car properly and followed me afterwards. I am fully aware that he is behind me but I still continued walking.

Sa kusina ako dumiretso. Dun din siya pumunta dahil sinundan ako. I'm hungry kanina pa kumakalam ang tiyan ko. Santi invited me for dinner but I refused. Binuksan ko iyung ref at kumuha ng tubig. Hindi na ako nagulat ng maramdaman ko siya sa likod ko. He also took some juice. Like what he does. Nagsalin na din ako ng tubig at humarap sa kaniya.

Kahit ipagtulakan ko siya hanggang sa labas, hindi siya aalis. So what's the point of doing that.

Tulog na siguro si manang Nancy. It's already 11 in the evening. Sinabihan ko kase siya na huwag na akong hintayin pa dahil matatagalan ako.

Without speaking, nagpainit na ako ng pagkain. I also included him. Alam kong gutom na rin siya kung kaya't naghanda ako ng para sa aming dalawa. I prepared the food and we both sat down and ate.

Nakatingin lamang ito sa akin. Just like the old times. Masayahin ito tuwing kumakain. He also eats a lot. Palaging may gana at talagang marami kung sumubo. Parang ngayon lang siya kumain ng husto. Simpleng putahe lang iyung ulam pero ang gana niya kumain. He seemed not to have a proper meal for a long time. J

Nauna na akong natapos at tumayo na ako mula sa pagkakaupo. You just let the enemy enter your house, Martee. I thought to myself.

Tahimik din akong naghugas ng pinagkainan namin ng maramdaman ko siyang yumakap mula sa likod ko. His tight and warm hug made me uncomfortable. This is the first time he did something like this. He even rested his head on my shoulder as I continue washing the dishes.

Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Amoy na amoy ko rin ang mamahalin niyang pabango.

My hands are wet and busy. Binilisan ko na lang ang paghuhugas at pinatuyo ang kamay sa suot kong apron bago ko kalasin sana ang mga kamay niya ng maslalo niya itong higpitan.

" Ano ba Santi" I whispered.

I have never seen him this vulnerable before. Ngayon lang. Pinagsiklop niya ang mga kamay namin at pinagpatuloy ang mahigpit na pagyakap niya sa akin. It took us almost five minutes standing while he was hugging me from behind.

" Gusto kong malaman mo na nandito ako Martee." He breathed in.

Alam ko. Pero kung maspapipiliin kita, pamilya mo parin ang pipiliin mo. You care for me but you also have your responsibilities to your family.

I closed my eyes.

This will be the last time I will be this close with him. This will be the last time I would hear his heart beating fast. This will be the last time I will feel his warm embrace.

And this will be the last time I will care for him.

It was already 1 oclock when he leff. Halos ayaw pa niyang umuwi. Kung hindi lang may tumawag sa kaniya at mukhang emergency kaya napilitan siyang umuwi. He even stayed for a few minutes more.

MY GRANDMOTHER DIED the following day. I was notified immediately by her private physician.

It was heartbreaking. Naabutan ko na lang siyang wala na sa ospital. I stared at my grandmother with unshed tears. I just sat down and held her hand.

" I promise to finish this, lola. Magpahinga na po kayo. Ako na po ang bahala dito. Mahal na mahal ko po kayo" I whispered. Hinalikan ko na lamang ang kaniyang noo bago ko sinabihan ang mga nurse na pumasok na.

I had her body cremated. Binalita ko na din kila papa ang nangyari. They were so devastated. Pero wala kaming magawa.

Lumipas ang mga buwan at unti unting natatapos na ang kaso. Ubos na rin ang pera namin. I only have limited cash in my bank account. Hindi rin naman ako makahanap ng maayos na trabaho dahil hanggang high school lang ang natapos ko.

My father was found guilty of murder. My mother was also charged with adultery and needs to pay jail time. Natalo kami sa kaso. Santi's world echoed. He made everything happen so fast just in a blink of an eye and took everything from us. Napilitan din akong ibenta ang bahay at bumili nalang ng masmaliit na bahay. I have to be strong because I still have to send myself to school.

True to what I've expected, Santi won as governor of the province. Naging kahanga hanga parin ang pangalan nila, kabaliktaran ng amin. The people despised us. They hated us but I've swallowed it all.

It stayed that way, hanggang sa hindi ko na namamalayang taon na pala ang lumipas.

And still, Santi remained the governor.

——