Shooting Star (Completed) [R-18]

22 : N

Martee

I took in the pill after I bought it. Nang makalabas ako ay sinadya ko munang dumiretso sa botika para bumili nito.

Nasa palengke palang ako ng patuloy na magring iyung phone ko. It didn't stop.

Tinignan ko kung sino ang tumatawag at nakita kong si Santi iyon. Huminga ako ng malalim bago ibinalik ang cellphone sa bag ko.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pamamalengke hanggang sa hindi ko namamalayang halos dalawang oras papa akong namalengke. I went home only to find him already dressed in his suit. Nakapang office attire na siya at mukhang hindi maganda ang mood.

" I'm sorry, I went out to buy some things" I told him. Nilagpasan ko siya ngunit maagap niyang hinawakan ang aking braso bago ako niyakap. He took the plastic bags from my hand.

" Sa susunod, gisingin mo ako. Hindi ko gusto na gumising na wala ka sa tabi ko. Get ready, we'll go out for breakfast. I also rented a condo unit for you. Mamaya ay dadalhin natin ang mga gamit mo dun" He stated calmly which made me look at him with disapproval.

" Hindi na kailangan pa. I'd manage. You don't need to do these things just because of what happened" Diretso kong untag. His eyes flickered with intense anger.

" With or without it, I'd still do this. You cannot deny me of this, Martee. I won't allow you this time" He said.

" I'm not denying you of anything, Santi. Sinasabi ko lang na hindi na kailangan pa ng condo because I already have a place to live. You're running late for work, Governor. You should leave" I said. He placed both his hands on his waist and looked at me like I am his most favorite problem.

" Martee, this place is okay. But it's not even safe."

" I have lived here long enough to prove that this place is safe." I countered.

" Okay then. If that what you want." He stated defeated.

"I will bring my clothes here. Simula ngayon dito na ako titira" My eyes widened at what I just heard from him.

" Hindi puwede!" Asik ko kaagad.

" Anong hindi puwede. You cannot push me away anymore, Martee." He muttered like everything is just simple.

" Today, I'd also have a formal interview from the press. You won't expect me to hide you. At the end of this day, everybody will know your status in my life. And no matter the outcome is, I'll still choose you." His eyes showed finality. I looked at him helplessly.

" You are creating an issue, Santi. Huwag mo ng buksan pa ang issue na iyan." I tried to discuss it with him.

" Then let it be. Dahil wala akong balak itago ka Martee." He stated with finality.

Napapikit na lamang ako.

" Maghanda ka na. Hihintayin kita" He said.

What is happening Martee? Why is he suddenly so vocal. Parang walang kinakatakutan.

" If this is about what happened last night-"

" This is not about what happened last night Martee. This is about you trying to ran away from me. Saan ba sa salitang mahal kita ang hindi mo maintindihan?" Untag niya. He combed his hair using his fingers as he stared at me.

" I'll fix it Martee. Just please, just please give me time to do it. Give me time to make it happen. But please don't leave me on the process." Pagmamakaawa niya. I can feel the sadness in his voice.

" Santi, alam mo ba kung gaano kabigat iyang gagawin mo? Sa tingin mo ba mapapatawad pa ako ng mama mo. She loathes me to the core. She hates my family. She despised my mother. That's enough reason not to gamble your name" I told him. Kahit ang totoo niyan, takot ako sa puwedeng maging kahihinatnan ng mga nangyayari. Sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Kahapon lang ay nalaman kong nakabalik na pala ang alaala niya and now, here he is speaking to me of everything involving the past.

"Nothing would change the way I feel for you. Kahit makalimutan ka pa ng isipan ko, naaalala ka parin ng puso ko. Why am I so much concerned with you even though I lost my memory of you, Martee? Bakit hinahanap parin kita? Bakit hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko tuwing iniiwasan mo ako? Bakit ako nagseselos sa mga lalaking napapalapit sa 'yo? I meet my doctor regularly for my check up. Dahil gustong gusto kong maka alala. You remained passive and acted as if I have not given you the whole of my heart. You even planned to leave me. Muntikan ko na rin mabugbog si Anton dahil kinampihan ka niya. I confronted him when I finally remembered everything. He fucking betrayed me. Everybody betrayed me. Even my mother betrayed me. Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit iyon. She even let you work as a maid. Tangina Martee, alam mo ba kung gaano ako galit sa sarili ko dahil hinayaan kong magtrabaho ka. You aren't used to it but you did it. You were deprived of everything and I should have given you everything. Patawarin mo ako. Kung hindi ako naaksidente-" I tried to cut what he was saying.

" Ginusto ko din naman ang nangyari. No one's going to be blamed but me. Ayokong kaawaan mo ako. I know the extent of the sins of my parents. At ang totoo niyan, nahihiya ako sa pamilya mo dahil sa nangyari. Tanggap po ang hinanakit ng iyong mama. Tanggap ko lahat. I have accepted that. And I have never thought of even being part of your life anymore. Si Ma'am Fey, she is a good partner." Untag ko sa kaniya.

" Bullshit. Fey is already out of the picture. Matagal ko ng tinapos ang sa amin. The moment I realized my feeling for you, I ended everything between us." He muttered.

" I need you in my life. Kung hindi ikaw ang makakasama ko, I won't survive." He took my hand and placed it on his chest. Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso niya.

" Let go of the fears you have, Martee. Andito ako. Please. Kahit ngayon lang, pagkatiwalaan mo naman ako." He whispered.

——