Forget-Me-Not

the yellow serin

Growing up, you had always admired birds, almost as much as you loved art. But when you say birds, you don't mean the beautiful pink flamingos that you would see on visits to your relatives in Camargue or the mysterious Eagle owl that you would see staring into your room on dark nights on your estate. No, not them. You admired birds like the Yellow Serin, they were small and common, and nothing was special about them.

But, they had beautiful colors like the flamingo, and at times they'd stare into your room like the Eagle Owl. Yet, they would fly away whenever they wanted to, leaving you in France. And of course, another would come the next day, but you would never know if it was the same one from the day before. Because the Serin from the day before could be on the other side of France, it could be in another country or continent entirely, or it could be a smushed mess on the side of the road with its feathers ruffled and its oozing body covered in tire marks.

But nevertheless, no matter what fate the small yellow Serin met, it would always be a mystery to you.

You wished you were a Yellow Serin.

Because if you were the small bird, you could fly away and leave France, leave the war behind, and specifically leave this small room right now.

Or maybe you'd be dead on the side of the road before you could even go anywhere, your small body unidentifiable and not swept away until the mystery of nature does so.

But to you, death would feel better than looking Levi in his eyes right now after announcing that you were going to destroy him.

"How in the hell did he get down here?"

A faceless voice screeches into the room at the sight of Levi, and as it does, the room erupts into panic.

But even amidst all the panic, as he slowly descends down the stairs, his dark eyes stare into yours, you try to read them, and you try to translate his language into your own so that you can understand what he thinks, what he feels right now.

But all you get is nothing, not even the bitter seed of betrayal.

His wordless eyes sting, and you turn away, you take in the rest of the room as their eyes are painted in horror and shock. Hitch steps back as if to have one last attempt at hiding from the man she lives with.

And Jean, Jean's...

...grabbing a gun.

Levi had discovered La Resistance.

And for that, he must die.

"Levi!"

As if wings themselves were attached to your shoes you flew in front of the soldier as he stood at the bottom of the stairwell.

"You want to destroy me, Y/n?"

The words roll off his tongue as if they pulled on his vocal cords before finally falling out.

Your heart hurts, "Levi, I-"

You bite your lip as the others stare holes into your head.

You had one of two choices.

You could tell Levi what he wanted to hear, tell him how you were lying, and hopefully, through more lies, he would forget about all of this.

But then the people around you would label you as a traitor.

So the other choice was to tell him yes, tell him that your plan all along was to get him to trust you so that you could chew that trust up and spit it out like good tobacco.

What would you choose?

Who would you satisfy and make happy?

"Levi, I want to end this war. I want to end the purging of innocent lives, and so does everyone else here."

His face doesn't even twitch at your pleading words or the way you step slightly closer.

"Don't you understand, Levi?"

The desperation of your words could make anyone cry, they could make any hardened heart crack.

"I understand well, Y/n."

The words leave his emotionless form, and they bring less reassurance than you thought they would.

"I understand that you are an enemy of Germany."

His words slice your skin like a hundred sharpened claws, and his voice booms through the room demanding attention.

Your breathing becomes shallow, and your eyes focus on his strong form as his dark eyes burn with anger.

"Levi..."

Your eyes trail from his own to the silver nozzle of the gun that he points at you.

His fingertips are only one will away from blowing a hole straight through you.

"PUT THE GUN DOWN."

The room erupts in uproar at the sight, and out of the corner of your eye, you can see Jean raise his shotgun.

This is all going so wrong...

Levi would shoot you, and then Jean would shoot Levi, and then what?

More death?

You squinted your eyes, and the soldier's eyes flicked towards Jean and the rest of the room as they shifted on their feet in cluelessness as none of them knew what to do.

"Levi."

His eyes flick back to you, and you swear you see them widen as you step forward.

"Don't."

You ignore him as you finish your step, and suddenly your chest is pressed against the silver nozzle. It digs so deep into your skin that the bullet will shoot right out if he shoots you. But you don't care, not when you've got an entire foot closer to him, to Levi.

"You think I won't shoot you?"

His eyes burn, but you swear you hear his voice crack a bit, almost as if it hurt him to say the words that fell from his lips.

Your fingers leave your side, and they grasp the cold metal of the gun that burns your hand like hell flames, your pulse beats as it screams at you to stop.

You move the nozzle, and you plant it right where your heart lays, only protected by your cold skin.

"If you want me to die, Levi, then do it. Shoot me right here right now, and as my blood stains your shoes, you will know that you've killed an enemy to your war."

Protests bang through the room, but they're no louder than the blood that rushes to your ears as you continue to speak.

"Or, put the gun down, listen to me, Levi. We do not have to be enemies, this war can come to an end, then we all win. All we want is for the dying to stop. Are you not tired?"

Your hand grips the nozzle harder, but your eyes never break his as he listens to every word you say.

You wonder what will happen next?

Will he shoot you? He's a soldier before a human, after all, right?

And a soldier's duty is to their country, not to someone whom they've drunk tea with on a rainy day.

As you blink, you hope that when you open your eyes the next thing you see won't be eternal darkness.

But when you open them, it's something worse.

His back is to you, and he ascends the steps before disappearing.

The room is blanketed in so much shock that no one goes after him, or even dares to break the silence with frantic words.

You blink again, again, and again, but no matter how many times you blink, when you open your eyes he's not there.

Levi knew the truth, and now....now you didn't know what was going to happen.

I...I still don't have much to say about this.