The Five Steps | Jensoo

Chapter 28

Jisoo

Even though it's well after dark by the time we get back to PNU.

Even though I'm completely exhausted.

Even though my ankles are aching from two straight hours of rollerskating.

I'm not quite ready to say good night yet.

So instead of dropping Jennie off at the red door of her apartment building, I park across campus where it's usually fairly quiet, away from the bars and nightlife.

"Good call. Make the date last longer," Jennie says, looking over at me as she unbuckles her seat belt.

"Yeah. Totally," I reply, trying to act like that's definitely what I was doing.

We step out and start walking down the quiet sidewalk, bumping shoulders every once in a while. Jennie has been unusually quiet since I returned with the bag of ice at the roller rink.

"You good?" I ask, checking in.

"Yeah. I'm good," she responds, followed by a big sigh. It doesn't seem like she's good but after a couple of minutes of silence, I hear her laugh and look over to find her shaking her head at herself.

"You thinking about the hurdle game?" I ask with a smile.

"All of it," she replies, and soon we're both just cracking up over all the things that happened tonight.

"I think this is the first time that I actually feel a little at home here," Jennie says, catching her breath from our last bout of laughter.

"I know what you mean," I reply.

There's something about this night...

It's everything I hoped university could be but never actually believed it would be after I walked into that single on move in day.

It's everything I've been waiting for but somehow so much more.

This is definitely a night I'll remember. Jennie too, if that bump on her head scars.

"I'm not sure I've ever actually felt at home... anywhere. It's nice," she says, a lump in my throat forming over the fact that she's never even felt at home in her own home.

"I'm glad," I reply, bumping into her lightly.

The cool fall air makes goose bumps rise to the surface of my skin so I untie the flannel from around my waist and slip it on, leaving the front open.

Jennie makes a left, taking us farther away from her apartment and toward a park, the PNU arts building glowing in the light from a large stone fountain out front.

"Come here," she says, her voice slightly fried from all the hours we've spent yelling and cracking up today. She takes my hand in hers and pulls me onto the concrete steps of the campus library. I don't even ask why we're going to the library so close to closing time on a Sunday. I just let her tug me the rest of the way up because I'm learning that good things happen when I let go a little.

She releases her grip on me when we make it through the glass doors and into the vestibule. It actually feels odd not to have her hand in mine after pulling her around the rink for so long. I chase her through the main floor, past the coffee stand where she cut me in line, and toward the stairs, huffing and puffing behind her as we jog up two flights and come out on the top floor where I've never been. She walks slowly through the dusty stacks, autobiographical works giving way to historical fiction. There isn't a single other person up here with us and I'm about to ask her what we're doing, when she finally stops in the middle of an aisle and turns to face me.