The Five Steps | Jensoo

Chapter 37 (Last Chapter)

Jennie

I turn the page of the book I'm holding but the words all blur together. Every sentence I've tried to read for the past hour is impossible to retain.

Letting out a sigh, I close it, surprised to see a flash of red when I turn my head, sparkling sequins shimmering faintly under the dim library lights.

It takes me a minute to register what I'm seeing.

Jisoo. Here. In a sparkling red dress, her hair pulled away from her face, her lips a matching ruby.

She looks... beautiful.

And happy. Her smile practically outshines her dress.

She's probably made things official with Chaeyoung at their little art museum gala. Maybe they even kissed, tucked away in the corner of an exhibit on pastels or watercolours.

I clear my throat and stand, sliding the book back into its place on the shelf. "I didn't pin you for a sparkly red dress kind of girl," I say, my eyes fixed instead on the book's gold lettering along the edge, the peeling tape sitting over the faded label.

When she doesn't say anything I know it's my time to talk. To apologise.

I take a deep breath, slowly pulling my fingertips off the spine of the book.

"I, uh. I took my mum to rehab last night," I say. "And the whole ride back to Busan all I could think about was how you were the only person I wanted to tell and how I'd screwed it all up. How sorry I am for what I said the night of the concert. Because you were right. About Irene About everything. But I didn't want to hear it so instead, I just tore it all down and hurt you." I let out a long sigh and turn to face her. "Soo, I didn't mean what I said–"

"Is she okay? Are you okay?" she asks, and I can't deny the tears that swim into my eyes.

"Yeah. She ran a car into a telephone pole but... she'll be okay. We'll be okay," I clarify. "But I want us to be okay too."

There's a moment of silence and then she takes a tiny step closer.

"Did you ever think we'd date?" she asks over a ragged breath.

I freeze, her words catching me off guard. "What?"

She raises her eyebrows at me and I notice her chest is heaving, a pair of heels hanging in her right hand. Was she running?

"Me and you," she says, pointing between us. "Did you ever think we'd date?"

I open my mouth, struggling to find the right thing to say. All that comes out though, is a single word. The truth. "Yes."

"Do you still?" she asks, rubbing salt in the wound.

I shake my head, pulling my eyes away from hers. "You like Chaeyoung."

She's silent for a long heart pumping moment. All I can do is look at the hem of her dress, the tiny rays of light reflecting off the sequins onto the floor.

"Every second I've spent with Chaeyoung this past week I was thinking about you. About how I wanted to be with you." I hear her let out a long breath of air. "It was like what you talked about. Real versus fantasy. It took me a long time to realise, too long, but being with you made me feel better than any fantasy I'd ever played over in my head. Like the person I never knew I could be. The person I am."