Twisted Metal - An FMA Story For All The Heathens

Flies on the Wall

     "We swear, we didn't hear anything incriminating at all." Havoc blurted out, flailing his arms all around himself in a panic.
     "Nope, nothing! We were just waking by and we uhhh... tripped?" Brosh added frantically. Ross was the only one who did somewhat close to feigning innocence.
     "I have no what these idiots are talking about." She lied.
     "Sit." Hawkeye said, pointing a finger to the couch. They all followed her direction without question. Each and every one of them, Mustang included, looking like kids who just got busted stealing candy from a store. Riza turned to Mustang and instructed him to sit as well. He did without any protest.
  
     "Whatever, you think you heard your the colonel said, you did not. Not a word of any of this leaves this room, or I promise you, it'll be the last words you speak. Do you understand?"
They all nodded frantically.
"I was not in here. None of you were in here. Fullmetal was not in here. Colonel Mustang was in here, by himself, all afternoon doing paperwork that he's far behind on,"
     "Checks out." Havoc mumbled. Only to be responded to by everyone else on the room as they simply said, "shut up."
    
     "No one saw, or heard, anything even remotely close to something odd. We're all going to leave this room and go about our duties without even so much as a thought about this discussion, let alone anything else that didn't happen here. It is understood?" Riza concluded. Though she was certain that this would get out, she had to at least do whatever she could to make sure they all understood the severity of what then talking and this getting out could do to not only Mustang or herself. They were all in it now. Imagine what their enemies could use against them if they knew how much skin, literally, was in the game now.

Then, of course, just as everyone was opening their mouths to agree, the door flew open and in walked Edward Elric.
     "Oh for the love of... what do you want now?" Riza said angrily.
Ed looked around the room from face to face, then landed on Mustang who currently had his head in his hands leaning forward on the couch.
      "Uhhh what's going on? Colonel, what's happening in here? Are you guys good?" He asked in a tone of voice that conveyed that he had some concerns.
     " I busted him and Hawkeye getting hot and heavy, then they came along while I was standing outside to protect anyone else from hearing or seeing anything they couldn't forget. But they showed up," Havoc explained calmly like nothing strange was going on in the slightest as he gestured to Brosh and Ross, "then colonel Mustang said something about you, and lieutenant Hawkeye asked if you and him had sex, then he freaked out, then lieutenant Hawkeye opened the door and we all fell into the room. That's about it... you?"

     Mustang slammed his face into his hand, "we're so fucked." He said, looking up at Riza.
     "Yup." She agreed.
Ed was looking back and forth from Hawkeye to Mustang to the others. Something in his eyes looked a little hurt. Finally, his eyes stopped shifting from person to person and focused on Mustang.
     "What did you tell them?" He asked.
     "I didn't tell them anything. It's like Havoc said. That's how it all went." He explained.
     "So, you and Hawkeye?"
     "Yes."
     "But, what the fuck... you fucking bastard."
     "I'm sorry Ed. I'm a fucked up mess of a shit human. I don't know what I want, but I do know that no matter what I'm doing or where I am, I can't get either of you out of my fucking head. It's insane. I don't know how to stop it, and I can't pick sides. It's just, it's both of you. All or nothing." Mustang tried to explain, doing a trouble job of it.

Havoc stood up and stretched his arms, then took a step towards the door.
     "Welp, it looks like you three need some space and privacy... I'm just gonna go ahead and-" He said casually, only to be interrupted by both Hawkeye and Mustang as they told him bluntly to sit back down.
He sighed, putting his chin in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.
     "Why do we need to stay? This isn't our weird ass love triangle." He asked in frustration. "Plus, I'm hungry and they're about to start serving dinner in the cafeteria. I'm not missing out on free food. Not today, not ever."

Hawkeye sighed in defeat.
     "Havoc, if you speak one word of any of this to a single living soul, I swear to you, you'll never get to enjoy a meal, free or not, for the rest of your life because you'll be eating through a tube in your gut." She threatened.
     "Yeaaah yeah, whatever. Good luck with... whatever this is. Cheers." He agreed.
     "The same goes for the rest of you. I'll have eyes on you all the time, here, at home, out in the world... everywhere you go, every second of every day."

That was the end of it. They all went their separate ways, except for Ed, Riza and Roy. Hawkeye took a long hard look at the two boys... because they certainly weren't what you might call "men" before dropping her shoulders and sighing. Then, she did something neither of them would have seen coming.
They didn't speak a word as they watched Riza hawkeye, one of the most skilled soldiers, and a woman at that, and most accomplished marksman they would ever have the honor and privilege to know and wish alongside, walk over to Mustang's desk and pour a tall glass of whiskey.

Taking a sip, she leaned against the desk. Then, she looked up, sighed once more, and began unbuttoning her uniform coat. No one said a word. Mustang and Ed sat silent and motionless, obsereving in fear as Riza took off her coat. Mustang, clearly, had seen every inch of her, on several occasions. However, only two of those occasions had been anywhere close to sexual. The most recent one was certainly explicit to say the least, and had taken place right where she was now leaning less than two hours ago.
The other times, well, they were far more intimate... though, not in the way one might assume when discussing intimacy.

For Ed though, he had only heard rumors. Of course there was the ongoing talk of her and Mustang being fat more than just subordinates. But at the same time, there were also rumors that Hawkeye didn't date men at all. It was women that she had ever been seen with. There was no evidence either way, aside from the fact that he and Mustang had literally just been caught red handed... within mere hours of Mustang sucking Ed's cock under his own desk.
That one, however, had everyone none the wiser... with the exception of lieutenant Hawkeye.
No matter how you looked at it, it was bad. The three of them decidedly chose to follow primal instincts spontaneously out of the blue, within less than two hours of each other. And Mustang, to no one's surprise, was the instigator of both scenarios.
This much was more than obvious to Ed and Hawkeye.

Ed was the first to unleash his inner thoughts. Turning to face Roy on the couch, he looked at him with pure rage etched across his face.
     "You slimy, disgusting, useless in any kind of moisture, piece of shit. What did you do? You go down on her under the desk like you did with me?" Ed demanded.
He wasn't expecting Riza to butt in, though as he said it, Riza raised a hand briefly and nodded to confirm the accusation as factual.
His jaw dropped as he turned to look back at Mustang.
     "Are you fucking serious right now? Same thing?"
     "Same thing." Hawkeye agreed, this time with no nod.
     "Who walked in on you guys?"
     "Fucking Havoc." The sigh that came from Hawkeye said more than a thousand words ever could.