Only You

Chapter 15

Alexey

I feel like shit as I push out into the cold, the mental image of Elora lying on that bed, still half-naked, and that goddamned expression on her face, a mix between confusion and hurt. It's like a slap in the face.

Meanwhile, I left so quickly for her sake. So I wouldn't push her too far for one night and mess everything up. Maybe I should have explained that or at least have come up with a valid excuse but I was on the brink of losing my mind, wondering how other parts of her tasted now that I got a taste of her skin.

Had anyone else ever done that to her? I guess not judging by what she said at the end. Damn, but knowing that sits very right and very wrong with me at the same time. Right because I like the idea of being the first one to ever have made her come, other than herself. Right because I loved everything I was doing and knowing she got off on it made it so much better.

Then again, it's wrong because I don't want to be special to her. I'm just an escort, as she reminded me earlier. There's no use in pretending anything else.

So I left. Staying the night is boyfriend behavior and I couldn't possibly stand another second in that room when everything smelled so much like her and I could almost still hear her moans sounding off the walls. I only have that much self-restraint.

She's fine, I'm sure. I'm probably worrying over nothing anyways. Her expression could easily have been a neutral one, or tired, most likely. It could have been a trick of the light or just a misinterpretation on my part. We don't know each other well enough for me to be able to read her. Especially across a giant hotel room.

No, she knows to differentiate between professional and personal and our agreement is strictly the prior. She's some sort of princess and I'm the prostitute, good enough for some orgasms but no more. Aftercare is intimate, too intimate to be brought into this and it's not like I've introduced the woman to the world of kink.

I just sucked her tits, for Christ's sake. There's no reason for me to keep worrying.

By the time I arrive home, I've had to stop myself five times from turning back around and checking on her. Like an idiot. I can't believe I'm even having these intrusive thoughts.

I silently enter my house and sneak up the stairs to my room. Opening the door, I startle when I see a silhouette already lying on my mattress on the floor. I switch on the light, my heart pounding in my ears, only to falter when I recognize Cai.

He seems just as surprised by me since he murmurs a loud noise of protest as he shoots into a sitting position. "Dude, what the hell? Turn off the lights, will you? My dream was about to get really damn good," he tells me, his voice and sly grin enough to tell me what sort of dream he'd had.

I roll my eyes and sit down next to him. "You scared the shit out of me, idiot," I tell him, shoving at his shoulder as I attempt normal banter.

I'm not convincing judging by his narrowing eyes. "Today didn't go well? Did she throw you out again? If she keeps doing that I'll gladly go have a chat with her. Can't have you be jerked around like that."

"I know you would," I say, the softest of smiles stretching over my face. Cai and I have each other's backs, always. That's something good to focus on, at least.

"So did she?" he prompts.

"Did she what?" I ask, trying to remember what the hell we were talking about because he sure as fuck isn't asking about her coming, which is where my mind has gone again. Fuck, I need to get a grip on it.

"Kick you out. Jesus, get your head straight."

"Oh, no, she didn't," I say, wincing at the memory of my departure.

"Okay. So what happened?"

"I left," I tell him.

"Just like that? You just walked away?"

"No. I mean, first we- I-" I stutter, unwilling to tell him any details about what we did earlier. I don't kiss and tell.

"You fucked, all right," he tries to fill in.

"What? No! Jesus, I told you I was trying to drag this out. I won't just sleep with her on the second night." I blow out an exasperated breath. "Whatever, it doesn't matter what we did. What matters is that I dipped, like, right after and now I feel like shit."

"Define right after."

"I don't know. I guess she came so I put on my clothes and left."

"No goodbye?" my cousin asks, brows drawing together ever so slightly.

"Kiss on the cheek?" I say unsurely. He blows out a breath.

"Damn, dude, that's harsh. Didn't you say she had no experience whatsoever? You know virgins are sensitive." I roll my eyes at his generalization.

"Yeah, I think that's exactly why I freaked out. Can't have her forget that this is strictly professional." Or me, I mentally add because honestly, I'm not sure who I truly did that for.

"Well, shit, you're stone cold. Makes sense though, better to make her feel a little shitty now than break her heart when your deal comes to an end. Still, just take care that you don't lose your job. Maybe actually say something before running home to me."

"I didn't know you were here. Sleeping in my bed," I grumble.

"You know I sleep better in your bed. Can we go back to sleep now that your conscience is all clean?" My conscience doesn't feel clean at all but I agree nonetheless, turning off the light and settling down on my tiny mattress next to my cousin.

It's uncomfortable as hell to share the small place but, as I've said, my cousin and I take care of each other. I'm willing to sacrifice a few hours of sleep so he can get any at all.

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Any ideas on what's up w Cai?

Have a lovely dayy<3