Bloodflood

16

"I saw something funny last night," I told Felicity, picking up the silverware to butter my toast.

Felicity and I had gathered around the table for breakfast the following morning. We were the only two who had bothered to eat together, unaware where the others had been. I was sure Felicity was happy that she did not have to see Phoenix just as I was glad I wouldn't have to see Azazel. He'd probably just sit across from us, eat, and leave without saying a single word.

I had awoken in his bed. We didn't have sex, not that sex had been on my mind when I saw how upset he was. He didn't speak much to me after he told me he was in control. He seemed exhausted and had fallen asleep, facing me. That had been the most relaxed I had seen him but his body remained tense.

She glanced up at me from across the table, raising a glass of orange juice to her lips. "Hm? What did you see?"

"I was walking the halls at night," I murmured, taking a bite, "and saw something so crazy you're never going to guess."

"What?" She started grinning but it didn't meet her eyes. I knew Felicity well enough to know that when she was feeling nervous, she had a difficult time not expressing it on her face. Guilty conscience. "Did you see Naamah and Phoenix hooking up?

"What?" I snorted, looking at her in disbelief. "Naamah and Phoenix?"

"Yeah, they totally have a thing, I heard," she said, her words muffled by the cup pressed against her lips. "They've just been keeping it a secret."

"And who did you hear that from?" I asked, feigning curiosity.

"Procel," she continued, looking at me to see if I was buying it. "He has a really big mouth."

I chuckled. "I believe that Procel has a big mouth but you know that's not what I saw."

"Lilo," she sighed, "I do a lot of things. So honestly, you're just going to have to tell me what you saw. There are too many things for my brain to anxiously rack through."

"But you brought up Phoenix," I pointed out with a knowing look. "So you know it's about you and Phoenix."

"I don't even know him," she said. lowering her eyes to the plate.

"What's going on, Fel?" I asked a little more gently this time. "I saw you two kissing and a couple of words were exchanged. It seemed pretty serious."

"If I were a different person," she said before pausing and shaking her head to herself. "If I was someone else, the relationship would work out. He's a great person but we want two different things. You know me. I love my independence."

I sent her a soft, reassuring smile. I wanted to reach across the table and engulf her in my arms. I could hear the pain in her words as she spoke about it. She looked devastated, as though Phoenix had actually mattered very deeply to her. I had never seen Felicity serious about anyone. I figured she was just like me. But I couldn't help but wonder what Felicity in love looked like. When she let down her guard and opened up, I knew just how loving and giving she could be. But she always had difficulty receiving support and love back.

"I don't want to be tied down to anyone. And I never die, Lilo. Do you know how long forever is? At least humans have mortality. Except you now that you're Azazel's wife that makes you immortal...so...I guess you are one of those people stuck together forever?"

I groaned. I was so tired of finding out stuff about me as the days go on. I had been finding out things left and right without any proper time to stomach it. I was no longer a mortal human being. I couldn't actually die. I was stuck, stuck.

"Well, you seem to really care for him," I said to her, pushing my feelings to the side. "So maybe you should go after him."

"Hm," she hummed to herself, pursing her lips, "I don't think I will but thank you for the suggestion. What Phoenix and I had was almost a century ago. I'm going to leave that in the past."