Palace Walls

Part Ten

"Kophrasia --I mean, Cookie --was a bit of an Old Hollywood bombshell, as the humans would call it. When she was young, she was pretty and had a bit of a figure. She also loved to party and dance and fete boys all hours of the night...Argitia was like a young Kophrasia, I guess." --Delinda de Saxilby, royal midwife to Clotilda Hua

The Cyclops maids gathered back at their table, slowly absorbing the day. It had almost burst with the excitement of a Birth Feast, where the Queen treated everyone-- noble and common --to roast ocean bull and crunchy blue-purple brashberries. The Queen and Prince Consort arrived by Giant Elephant, nearly slipping off the slick crimson rose-patterned blankets that covered their wrinkly gray backs. The Queen even fed her elephant, Honeybee, juicy chunks of melon. Everyone chuckled at the sight of Honeybee licking Her Majesty's cheek with a fat pink tongue. Even Her Majesty laughed-- an oddly jagged, girlish sound.

Contortionists stretched in checkered harlequin costumes, jesters joked and tumbled, and the orchestra played. It left everyone full and exhausted, including the maids. Cookie lit a cigarette, blowing wispy patterns of smoke.

"I see why Her Majesty's huffy about what you said. In all my Neo-Jotun years, everyone thinks her puplet's the cutest ever."

"So what now?"

"Don't say her baby's...unique. Say, 'That's a good science project!'"

Candy frowned into her compact and applied more mint-green eyeshadow.

"I didn't call her ugly," she snapped, "I said, it kinda looks like an elephant seal."

"Elephant seals are cute. She must be tired and cranky after giving birth, you know."

"Well, now, Kophrasia...!"

Cookie chuckled, waving a hand.

"Trust me, dear, when you have your own puplets, you'll understand."

"Did you have any?"

"Well I..." She pursed her lips. "Never had the privilege, I'm afraid."

"I'd like a baby," Candy said, "Most babies are cute, and to watch them grow up...." She grinned. "Would be a dream come true!"

"Your husband will be very lucky, Candy."

"You know he will!"

"Jarnoyls," growled a familiar voice, "Are we cleaning the dust from the wood, or the spit from our lips?"

The maids looked up. Calliope towered over them, raising a thin black eyebrow.

"We will soon," Cookie explained, "But it's a Feast Day."

"Sure is," Candy added, flicking mascara on her lashes.

"I don't see any eating going on," she observed, "Her Majesty will not be pleased, to say the least."

Candy slammed the compact shut and stood, getting her face very close to Calliope's. Cookie shuddered.

"Be careful, Argitia," she warned.

"Well, you're a servant, too," Candy barked at Calliope, "And I've seen you do absolutely nothing, and the times you do, you murder men and women without a tear in your eye. I'm glad your little plot against Lady Keturah failed, and the entire Palace hears you bitch and moan and complain because Her Majesty's given birth and you're no longer the center of her pathetic little universe."