Noah Beck: The Devil's Man

Chapter 55 - Us

I broke the kiss. "We should probably go out" I muttered quietly. "Yeah" Noah nodded, climbing out of the car. He took my hand and helped me out of the car. I went to pull my hand away but he didn't let me; He examined my wrist before planting a kiss on it. "Before you interrupted me back there, I was going to say I'm sorry, I didn't know where I was or who you were".

"Oh shut up" I said with a light happy tone. I seen him fight off a smile.

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My eyes followed the coffin that was being lowered into the ground. Noah stood, stiff and tense as always. I saw Ella, Ashton, Grayson and Adam in the crowd of people who were also staring at the coffin.

It was completely silent.

People started to leave but Noah just stood there staring at the ground. Ashton grabbed my attention, I waved him away and he nodded, following his family.

Everyone had dissolved and I felt a drop of rain hit my head. Noah had his eyes closed and his fists clenched. I touched his hand but he pulled away. "Don't touch me Dixie" he spat angrily at me. I was kind of shocked.

"Don't - touch me ... I don't think" his breathing became heavy as he struggled to say what he wanted to. "I don't think I can keep it together if you touch me" he shouted, turning to me. I didn't move, I didn't even make a facial expression. "Don't touch me, I don't want to be touch" he roared at me.

Rain started to suddenly pour from the sky. "She's gone and now there's no one Dixie" he shouted calming down. "I have no one" he slowly calmed down, but I seen his eyes become glossy. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he gazed at me. He started struggling to breathe in front of me. He bottled it up. Why didn't I realise that he wasn't trying to ignore it, he was bottling it instead.

"I'm so tired of everything Dixie" he let his lip quiver. "I'm so tired" his voice sounded weak and fragile; A tear slipped out of his eye. I was speechless. I didn't know how to console him, I was never shown any type of pity when I was at home until I met Noah. The only time I was shown was when my father announced my engagement.

"Noah". He stood infront of me. "You have me, you have us" I reminded him. "I'm not going to magically disappear or run away or die. I'm right here, standing infront of you" I spoke gently.

The rain was wetting my clothes and hair. My dress became slightly baggy and my hair knotted as the rain got heavier. "I'm here" I grabbed his face. "You're tired and grieving, you need to take time off from the Mafia. Let Ice or James take over for just a few days, please Noah, you're not okay mentally to go back to work" I begged him. I would get on my knees and beg if I had to. The only warmth I had in this freezing rain was my hands against Noah's face. It was wet but warm. He stared at me weakly. "I've got you?" He asked. "You've always had me" I smiled slightly, trying to fight off the quiver that wanted to shake my lip.

"She was the only person who wanted to show me any sympathy after what my father put me through" Noah sounded hurt and I don't blame him. "And I don't even remember what my last words were to her" He shook his head, water droplets running down his face, and millions dripping from the strands of his hair on the front of his face. The sides of Noah's haircut was tight and close to the skin, but the top was a medium length.

"Let me help you" I whimpered pleadingly to him. He gave me a unsure glance. He didn't want to let me get close because I could die. Because I wasn't immortal. But neither was he.

The rain started to sting from how cold it was. I was exhausted and so was he. "We can go home. We can order food and watch shows that make me cry and you can laugh at me because I'm crying. Let's go home" I urged him, still holding his face in my hands. He stared at her grave and back at me. He nodded. I gave him a soft smile. I pulled him close, hugging him tight. I had my arms around his neck and his arms were around my waist. He buried his head into my neck as I shut my eyes. He was so warm. It's all I could focus on.

We stood silently, in that position for what felt like hours and I adored it. Not the fact that he was hurting but more that he was vulnerable, honest. When I opened my eyes, I realised that some of the droplets were turning to snow flakes. I gazed at the snowflakes that were suddenly all around us. I started giggling uncontrollably and saw that Noah still had his head buried in my neck. "Noah look" I shrieked with a happy tone.

It was cold but bearable. I saw Noah's face light up, but his cheeks were still wet from the tears. I seen a slight smile appear on his face. "It's snowing" I cheered giddily like a child. I loved snow. I remember back when me and my brothers would check if it had snowed outside everyday up until Christmas. When it did, we would hurry and get our snow boots on; We would rush outside and have a snowball. It used to be me, Blake and Jason against Edward, Daxon and Hayden. I remember staying outside until I couldn't feel my hands and my nose was red and stuffy.

It's times like these I miss my brothers. They may have let my father abuse me, but they're still my brothers and I'll always love them. They're the only family I have.

I observed Noah; His face was pointed up to the sky with his eyes tightly shut, taking in the feeling of the freezing cold snowflakes against his warm moderately tanned skin. But it's times like this that I'd rather be with Noah. These peaceful moments. I get to see these glimpses of the real Noah. I get to see him when he's at his lowest and at his highest, when he's at his weakest and his strongest. I'm not taking him for granted.

I know he's a bad a guy, and he's the devil, but to me, he is an angel.