We Can Still Dance

Red

It was quiet.

I remember that because it unsettled me, how the world stood ever so respectfully and ever so silently as my own world crumbled into minute fragments.

It's funny. You don't know the end is coming until it has smothered you. Until it takes the shape of someone that you love so much.

I had been trying to catch snowflakes in my mouth. The rarity of snow in this part of England had us both grinning like madmen. Like crazies.

I looked behind me and he was smiling at me like he had never seen anything more vibrant. More real. His eyes shone pitch black in the dim light.

I followed him deeper into the snow, deeper into the trees. He held out his hand and I took it like a thousand times before.

It was beautiful how much he loved me.

And then it was red all over. On my beautiful white gown and in my long blonde hair and on my fingers and toes and dripping from me, just coming from every available surface. I would have laughed but the red was in my throat and in my eyes and slipping down my spine. I tried looking for him. I tried turning my head. He needs to run! Please be safe! I wanted to scream but there was something wrong. The words were not coming out! My mouth was open but all I could hear were these horrible gurgling sounds. Like a broken faucet. Like a fish out of water.

I watched my hands fumble about my stomach. I watched them come away slick with blood. I did not understand.

The ridiculousness of it all! I could see Keynes all lit up from where I stood. The happy people laughing inside. Getting ready for a fun night. My friends swapping insults. Already forgetting about me. I willed my feet to move towards them. I had so many things I needed to say.

The snow was in my mouth, choking me. I tried standing, I really did. His shadow towered over me and I just couldn't do it. I reached for him and my momentum sent me down hard. I landed at his feet.

I wasn't too scared, though. My boy was strong. He had fine lines. He could pick me up and take me away and everything would be perfect and okay. I waited for his arms. I relaxed my body. I was slack. I wanted it to be easier for him! Even though my head was spinning. Even though I could feel the life seeping out of me.

The knife cut through me like water. For the second time? I kept trying to breathe but it seemed like I had forgotten how to do so.

I watched him as he walked away. Ready to forgive, if only he turned around.

The folks stumbling by marveled out loud at how realistic the halloween decorations looked this year.

The snow fell over me. I closed my eyes.