Choices

Am I Ready?

'Don't let your mistakes determine your happiness. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones to rise above them'

It's been a little over a month and as weird as it seems things seem to be going smoothly. It should be complicated with more than one person, but it wasn't. I smile as I turn off the shower. I get out the shower, wrapping myself in a towel. I open the cabinets and stop when I see my birth control. I open it up and it immediately hits me, I haven't been taking it. I close the cabinet and take a deep breath before getting dressed.

I walk into the kitchen and it's empty. My favorite day of the week is Saturday. Usually I spend the day watching movies with my guys. I make a cup of coffee. I sit at the counter, drawing random patterns on the counter.

"Morning princess." I jump when I hear Stefano, he walks into the kitchen and gives me a kiss. "What's wrong?" He looks at me.

"Nothing." I give him a smile.

"You're lying, something is going on in that pretty little head of yours. So why don't you tell me? Remember princess, communication." I look at Stefano.

"I haven't been taking my birth control."

"Okay." I look at him walk over to make a cup of coffee. How can he be so calm about this? I could get pregnant, does that not worry him? Unless he's okay with that. I stop, I never thought about if they wanted kids. Isn't that what people do in relationships? They have kids. Get married. Kids? I could feel myself start to panic.

"Hey, look at me." Stefano tilts my head up so I'm looking at him. "Whatever you're thinking, please stop. Talk to me princess. You're probably stressing out about nothing." I feel him kiss my forehead.

"Stefano, I could get pregnant." I look at him.

"You think that's a bad thing?" I look at him and see the concern in his eyes.

"I don't know how to be a mom, I never had one. Why would I bring a child into this world when I don't know what I'm doing? What if I get it wrong?"

"You're not alone." I look at him. "I believe you would be an amazing mom. Your heart is so big and you're so caring. Any child that's around you would definitely know what love is. I think that's the most important thing of being a mom, is the love you give. Even if you didn't grow up with one. That love is natural. I wouldn't mind you walking around with my child growing inside you." I look at a light in Stefano's eyes and a smile on his face.

"I'm after Stefano." I turn around and look at Nikola walk into the kitchen. He walks up and gives me a kiss. "Good morning, my love." He makes a cup of coffee and I just watch him. He looks up at me. "What's wrong?" I just look at Nikola.

"She forgot to take her birth control a couple times. She's stressing about it and I'm trying to tell her, she doesn't have to be. Whatever happens, you're not alone." Stefano looks at me and I give him a smile.

"I know I'm not alone, what if I mess up?" I look down at the counter.

"Everybody is going to make mistakes, as long as the child doesn't die then it'll be okay." I look at Stefano. "You'll be fine, but please don't stress over something that isn't happening at the moment." Stefano gives me another kiss before starting breakfast. Nikola sits next to me as I watch Stefano cook.

Could I really be a mom? Change diapers? I've never changed a diaper in my life. What if I don't want kids? Will they still want to be with me? What if I can't get pregnant?

I look up at Stefano when he puts a plate in front of me. Stefano's cooking was always amazing. I make a cup of coffee before slipping out the kitchen so I can video call Lexie.