Salvis One-shots :)

Trauma (pt 1)

I'm back fuckers, also I'm thinking of writing a byler fic (Mike x will from stranger things) so thus will update regularly but ilk be focusing in the first chapter of thag book :)

Tw: Hate speech, slurs

Travis's pov

I rub my stomach as I sit at the caf table alone again, insecurity burned in my gut as I looked at sal's group, happily chatting and finishing off their lunch, my hand reaches up to my cross necklace. I clutch it tightly in my hand while I lay my head on the table, closing my eyes I let out a sigh and whisper to myself under my breathe.

I hated sal, I hate his fucked up face, his girly haor style, his satanic music and his weird clothing style, I hated him. I bring my head up and my eyes immeditly shift to sals table, sal's looking directly at me, those dark, hooded eyes fogging up with no expression behind his mask. It makes me uneasy when he doesn't look away, we hold eye contact for another few seconds before I eventually give in and pull away. 

I watch from the corner of my eye as larry elbows sal in the side, sal finally breaks contact with my table and joins the conversation again, ashley laughed and touched sal's shoulder. My lungs flared with anger, I don't know why I was angry, I don't know why I couldn't look away and ignore it like I usually did. Something inside of me told me to speak up, so I did. Yelling two tables down I cup my hands over my mouth, drawing attention to me. 

"Well would you look at that! sal finally got some pussy, turned you straight huh fag?" I laugh "ya...no way, you're still a disgusting faggot" Larry goes to get up but sal grabs his forearm "save it lar, he's not worth it" sal scoffs. I mean sure I was being a cunt, but why did that hurt my feelings? I wish sal was obsessed with me, I wish I could keep him all to myself, only for me to touch, hold, kiss...

I blush at my thoughts, this hasn't happened before, why now? why did I all of a sudden think these things now? I bite my tongue in shame, my brain wracking against my skull for a few minutes before I put the hot button issue aside and focus on my lunch. I dig into my balogna sandwhich, sighing at the gritty, pork like taste, I always wondered how they made the meat, it didn't taste like beef or chicken or pork for that matter, it tasted like a dull mix of the three, with grittiness to it if that even made sense? 

I shrug and finish my sandwich, leaning over behind my and putting my tray on the stacks of others, thankfully I didn't have to move, I was in the middle of the caf so the tray stack was right behind me. Sure it sounds sad, being the only one at a caf table, all alone with nothing but cluttering trays and garbage behind me, but I didn't mind it too much, I like the full yet empty feeling I had while I was by myself, it was comforting, it was familiar.

I have 15 minutes left of lunch, I check my watch several times to see when it'll go by but not even 5 minutes has past. I sigh in defeat and slouch on the connected bench, proper my elbows up I lean my chin against the palms of my hands. Letting my eyes follow sal's group as they make their way over to my table, I perk up a bit, they walk right past me though, throwing away their trash and putting down their trays. I sulk a little but snort as I speak up again "augh I smell flamming trash" I flinch away from sal and larry "oh sorry" I laugh into my open palm "just you faggots" I hold back a snicker as larry gets visibly mad "yes! you're mad! it's so easy to agitate you!".

I laugh at larry as I shift from sitting to standing "how fucking pathetic!" Sal puts his hand on larrys chest, telling him to back off, saying it's not worth the punishment. Larry looks between me and sal and shrugs his brother off, storming out of the cafeteria. Ashely gives me a glare and I scoff again "what the fuck are you looking at skank?" I sit back down as ash walks closer to me. "you know what travis, I get why you're doing this, you don't get enough attention at home, is that it? I bet you're mom barley says a word to you, if I had a son like that hell i'd do the same thing"

My whole body buzzes, I slam my hands against the table "don't bring them up you bitch! this has nothing to fucking do with my mom or dad" I try not to let my voice wobble "at least I have a fucking mom! unlike your blue hair faggot boyfriend over her". Sal looks hurt but also mad? I couldn't tell, his face was hidden by the mask. He looked away from me for a second then back "at least she loved me, at least my dad cares" he shot back, storming away from my table, ashley following short after. 

I'm left there alone, panting in anger and emberassment, swallowing the vomit rushing its way into my throat, I felt like I was going to cry. Fucking hell why couldn't I just stay quiet? why couldn't I have just went on my phone and shut up for fucking once? I groan and make my way out of the caf. "smooth phelps" philip says from his table, I gave him the middle finger "shut the fuck up" 

I drag my feet to the library, thankful for my free block but upset cause I still have one more class to go after this. Sitting in the shitty wooden chairs, it didn't take long for my back to start hurting, I grumbled and opened up my sketch book. I mindlessly doodle until a proper drawing starts coming together, I don't pay much attention till my pencil stops moving and the song in my headphones dies off to a crackle.

I give it a proper look and gulp, it was sal, just a shoulders up head shot, it made my stomach churn. The dark pencil drawn eyes staring back at me, it made me so uncomfortable, but I didn't reach for my eraser, I just sit there and look at it in shame, my face face hot as I slowly move my hand over the pencil.

I feel myself smiling but don't stop it, because at this point there isn't any fight left in my body to stop it. I just let myself be happy, for just a moment, a bliss filled moment of happiness. I look over to the doors when they swing open, whoever was coming in was pretty heavy footed because they walked so fucking loud.

I was met with sal's masked face standing right in front of me, I quickly shut my sketch book "what the fuck do you want flamer?" I scoff and lean back in my chair, trying to seem as cool as possible, 'I hope I look cool' my wishful thinking again, I need to knock that off.

Sall rolled his eye "we have an Psychology project together? Remember?" I give him a puzzled look, he sighs and sits across from me. "Mrs. Kooner gave it out last week? It's about trauma? Look its due next week on Monday so we need to start it".

Sal went on and on and on, I take a deep breath "oooh ya...that one" he rub my eyes "ya sorry I wasn't very uh...present...that day" I rub the back of my neck sheepishly and click out my pencil led "so...trauma..." I breath out the word and sal nodded.

Trauma was an icky word to travis, him and his therapist had brought up the topic quite often, he'd always try prying him open for HIS trauma but travis never let up. He just vented about school, and sal and bpd and everything besides trauma.

Sal brought out a notebook and opened it up to a marked paged "alright well, tell me about your trauma" I scoff "is that seriously you're conversation started?" Sal nodded and tapped the page with the end of his pen.

"Fine, how would you describe trauma?" I think to myself for a bit, this was a weird question for me cause nobodies ever asked me that before.

"Well, it's hard to describe because trauma is different for every person, nobodies trauma is worse than someone else's, every person is unique and handles things differently" I couldn't help but ramble "I guess I would say trauma from my experience is something you can't escape, you can either push through it or let yourself get swallowed into the black hole that is trauma. All of the anger and sadness and pain and fear will consume you till you have nothing left, and you can either let yourself be upset and heal or you can be alone, and stuck with nobody to help you but yourself"

Sal looked up at me as I finished talking, my ears got hot with embarrassment, I lean back again, running my hands through my hair "fuck man, what else is left to say?" I run my hands down my face and turn my head towards the window.

It was still cloudy and gloomy outside, I wouldn't be surprised if it rained later on, I glare at my reflection and put my head down on the table as Sal wrote. This is going to be a long ass day.

HI YES I AM BACK, FINALLY I AM ALIVE AGAIN !!!! I know I haven't updated in a super long time and I'm I'm for that, I finished this chapter on my phone bc my laptop charger isn't working and I need 2 order a new one!. Also since I'm graduating this year schools been kind of crazy so ya, blah. This is only part 1 of this one-shot, so part 2 will b out next week :3