The Disgraced Newsie( Tommy Boy Alternate)

CHAPTER XX

TOMMY BOY'S POV

"Hi, Finch." I wanted to stall confronting Finch as much as possible because it still hurt too much to encounter him after what he had done to me. Fortunately, selling newspapers always provided a great distraction. I had already told Jack that I willingly wanted to speak with Finch, but I expressed concern about what would happen every once in a while. Or possibly very often as we sold our newspapers. "What if it ends in a screaming match between us? It could happen. What if all of it became a massive waste of my time? What if Finch somehow tries to shift the blame onto me? What if he doesn't apologize? What if- -"

"Tommy, can you calm down? Look, I want you two to make up as much as anyone else, but I don't want you to stress out about it too much, so if you don't want to do it, no one can force you." Sometimes, I hate it when Jack acts like the big brother we never had but needed in our lives. Why does he always know what to say and make it sound right? I don't remember Jack mentioning he had younger siblings, so how does it do it?

"No, I have to do this. I can't escape my problems forever because we all know how that ended for me." I don't think I will ever forget what those Harlem Newsies did to me. I wouldn't say it was worse than the Refuge, but it was still something I never wanted to experience again. Of course, it was my fault because I made myself too comfortable. "Anyway, I want to get it over with, so at least I can decide to allow Finch back in my life."

"Whatever you want, Kid, but if you need backup, you know where to find me."

"Thank you."

"No problem, Kid."

"No. Thank you for everything. You should have been the first person who wanted to have nothing to do with me, so I appreciate it. But I must ask, why did you still stick by me?"

"Because I knew neither of you boys would betray us for no reason. Why did you think I allowed Davey to stop the others from beating you guys up? Or why I wanted to convince you guys to rejoin our side? Besides, I know the feeling of feeling guilty about betraying the others. The others may have forgiven me, but it sometimes hurts because I will never forget the looks of betrayal, anger, and shock on their faces." Jack never liked to admit his feelings about anything or remember anything about the past, especially remembering what happened at the rally. He may have partially disclosed how he felt about that entire situation, but he never admitted that much. "I could indeed have treated you the same as most of the others, but you didn't deserve it. You never deserved it." As if I didn't already hate Jack for placing himself in the big brother, and although I will never admit this to him, I honestly needed to hear that from someone. I wished it could have been Finch because then I would have known that he still cared about me and considered me his little brother, but I had to take what I could receive. "So, are we done talking about our feelings now? Because I would like to sell our newspapers today and not have to deal with Pulitzer about repurchasing them. Unless you want to keep going with this for some reason."

"No, I think that I am okay now."

"Alright, good to hear."

FINCH CORTES' POV

"Hi, Finch." As I wanted to make up with Tommy, I never expected him to approach me and willingly wanted to speak with me. He seemed to have wanted to avoid more often than usual today. Tommy wouldn't even look at me today, which confirmed that Tommy didn't want anything to do with me again and that I had no chance of ever making amends with him. It wasn't until sometime after dinner that Tommy approached me and asked to speak with me privately. It surprised me, but of course, I didn't question it and followed Tommy into the empty living room.

"Hi, Tommy." It was an awkward silence because neither of us knew how to start this conversation. I needed to apologize to Tommy for how I treated him and the staircase incident, and Tommy deserved to say what he needed to tell me. "I don't know where to start."

"Neither do I."

"Look, Tommy. I have no idea where to start with this apology because I don't want to create a screaming match between us, and I can't handle that when we already have so much tension between us."

"Neither do I." Tommy motioned for me to sit on the couch with him because he knew that it would be a long and stressful conversation between us.

"Look, why don't you start by telling me what you want to say?" I wanted this conversation to start on a good note, so instead of starting with an apology, I would allow Tommy to speak his mind and not comment about it.

"Are you sure? Because you will not like what I have to say about you."

"I won't interrupt. Tell me what you want to say, and I will listen."

"Fine, but you asked for this. You know, I could handle you mistreating me because I could understand why everyone had it out for me. After all, I betrayed everyone, and despite what Jack told me, I deserved it. I am not mad at you about that. However, I am angry about you pushing me down the stairs!" I looked down in shame, but I kept my mouth shut as promised. "You know, I would have forgiven you if you had checked on me, but you didn't! Why would you do that to me?! I could handle it if you beat me up or called me names, but pushing me down the stairs was the worst that anyone could have done to me. You are still my brother, and I will always care about you, but what you did to me was inexcusable, and I don't know if I could forgive you. Unless you somehow prove it to me. Anyway, you can say what you want to tell me."

"All I can honestly say is that I am sorry."

"Well, that is not enough."

"I know, but that is all I have for now."

"Well, when you figure out your next step, you know where to find me." Tommy walked out of the living room before I could say another word. At least there wasn't any yelling, but there wasn't a reconciliation either. What was the next step now?