Mae

Chapter 24: Mae Kazimi

Chapter 24: Mae Kazimi

I find Fayyaz's car waiting for me outside the building, his black Porsche clean, glinting in the bright sun of New York.

"Hey," he mutters, wiping his glasses with the corner of his plaid button up shirt. "Welcome back to the car my dad bought me."

It's a lame attempt to ease the tension and awkwardness. But it is still an attempt.

As soon as I shut the door, we are off. Fayyaz doesn't bother saying anything else when I don't reply, opening the windows and letting in the fresh air so we can breathe. So we can think about something else.

"There's no point avoiding this," I say finally. "We're getting married."

Fayyaz makes a sound from his throat, as if in disgust, "Yes, I've been told."

"And?"

"And?" he looks at me as he stops at the right light, looking pissed. "I don't want to get married."

"To me," I finish for him.

"No hard feelings."

"I don't want to get married to you either, Fayyaz."

He hits the gas harder than he should as soon as the lights turn green, "Good. Then call it off."

"I can't," I clear my throat, playing with my phone on my lap. "The thing is, an alliance between our families could be beneficial to us–"

Fayyaz shakes his head, "To you. This marriage will be beneficial to you, Mae."

"To both of us! You get the reputation and the protection and we get the coverage," I say, watching him tighten his grip on the steering wheel.

"You might be a murderer, Mae, but you are not evil. You don't kill innocent people–"

"No one is innocent," I snap.

"You know what I mean," he snaps in return. "You know exactly what I am talking about and you are choosing to ignore it. This marriage only works for you and I have no say in this."

I look away, out the window, "Arranged marriages happen everywhere, Fayyaz. You're brown, do you honestly think your parents won't set you up with another girl anyway?"

"Oh, of course they will," he stops the car with a jerk in front of my school building. He turns to me angrily. "But anyone is better than you."

I try not to flinch, "Oh really?"

He clenches his jaw, "I'm tired of this fucking life. Getting married to you only means more death, more darkness. I can't do this anymore."

"There's a lot I can't do either, but I'm still doing it, aren't I?" I want to scream.

"And that's your choice!"

"What you want doesn't matter! It is what it is!"

Fayyaz rubs his face, "Just get out, Mae."

I don't move, staring at him before saying quietly, "You couldn't find it in yourself to care about me the slightest if we were to get married?"

He looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes. He is tired. He is exhausted. "No, Mae. I cannot care for someone like you. Now please, get out of my fucking car."

I swallow, getting to my feet and pushing the car door open. I slam it shut behind me, watching Fayyaz roll away and drive off down the street without as much as a goodbye.

Perhaps, I have caused too many problems. Maybe he is right and I refuse to see it.

I turn around and make my way to class, pulling out my phone to text my driver.