Slow Slide to the End

Chapter 4

After class, Rain walked back to his car listening to his friends rant about the test they just completed.

"Ugh, I did so bad, so bad" cried Sig.

"Try studying next time instead of napping and complaining from my couch all night" snapped Sky.

Sig rolled his eyes and whined "Too harsh Sky. Why are you always so harsh??"

Sky ignored him and turned to Rain. "You're creepily quiet. Are you worried about the test?"

Rain did not reply and instead kept walking with a large smile on his face. His head was full of imagining how happy Payu would be when he told him how well he had prepared for the test. Payu loved it when he was responsible and put his studies first.

"Rain? ...... Rain?" Sky finally smacked him in the back of the head.

"What was that for?" cried Rain rubbing his head.

"Where is your head? I'm talking to you" Sky said without remorse. Rain looked at him with an empty stare as he had no idea what Sky had been talking to him about.

Sky rolled his eyes, "Are you worried about the test? You're being very quiet."

"No, unlike Sig, I studied instead of napping" Sky replied while peeking at Sig who let out a gasp.

"You're turning on me too? What kind of friends do I have?" he sputtered out.

"You guys are annoying. Stop arguing. Where should we go to eat?" asked Ple.

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After lunch with his friends, Rain went straight to Payu and Saifah's house. He let himself in with his key and lay down on the couch for a nap. He had spent all week studying for his final exam with little sleep. He curled under a blanket to rest while waiting for Payu to get home from work.

Hours later, Rain woke and, looking around, realized that the sky had turned dark. His watch read 9 pm. "P'Payu?" he yelled out. Getting no response, he stood up and started walking around the house. "P'Payu?" he called out as he moved from room to room. Coming back out of his and Payu's bedroom, he ran into Saifah.

"Oh, P'Saifah. Where is P'Payu?" asked Rain.

"Hey Rain. I haven't seen him. He must not be home yet" Saifah replied.

Saifah must have noticed the downturn in Rain's face and he said "I wouldn't worry, you know he's been working late a lot lately on that new project. How about we go make a late dinner? I can't cook like Payu but we can make omelets."

With effort, Rain put a smile on his face, answering, "Sure P'Saifah", following him downstairs to the kitchen. Rain tried not to feel disappointed but Payu had been working late every night for weeks and even on the weekends. Rain had barely seen Payu and couldn't remember the last time they ate dinner together or went anywhere. Payu left work every morning before Rain got up, worked past dinner, and often only returned as Rain was getting ready for bed.

He tried hard not to complain, but he missed Payu. A lot. As much as Rain loved snuggling with Payu while he slept, it wasn't enough. There had been no one to remind him to study, or eat, or get enough sleep. He'd been trying to spend his days in ways that Payu would want him to. He'd been going to bed on time, studying hard for classes, having dinner with his mom once a week, and not skipping meals. He'd been a really good boy and all on his own. But, Payu hadn't been around enough to even notice. Payu never even asked anymore.

Rain tried talking to Payu about it but Payu assured him that it was only temporary, like when Rain had a big project due and spent a lot of time at Sky's with his friends preparing. But Rain didn't think it was the same at all. Rain and Payu still talked on the phone often when Rain was at Sky's. Rain tried hard to focus on Payu's promise that the project would be over before they knew it and things would go back to normal.

So, Rain worked hard to keep his complaints in his mouth and stop them from spewing forth in the whiny tirades he so desperately fought off. He knew his complaining only stressed Payu more. He imagined it was because Payu knew he wasn't being a good Daddy to Rain right now and he felt guilty. But he wished that Payu would talk to him about the situation instead of always avoiding the subject.

Rain had noticed that Payu always looked tired with dark circles under his eyes becoming a permanent fixture. He had become the one to worry in their relationship - was Payu eating enough? Did Payu sleep at all when next to him in bed at night? He had taken to leaving notes on Payu's nightstand to cheer him on. "Eat well today P'Payu!" "Sleep well tonight P'Payu. I love you." "Good luck with your project!" "I studied hard this week P'Payu!" "I was a good boy today and remembered to call my mom."

After dinner with Saifah, Rain called Payu.

"Rain. Did you need something? Have you had dinner?"

"Hi P'Payu. I just had dinner with Saifah but was wondering when you would be home. I miss you."

"I know, I miss you too monkey. I should be home in another hour or two. You must be tired from studying all week so go to bed early and don't wait up for me."

"But, P'Payu, I want to wait up for you. I've hardly seen you all week," Rain whined, not able to keep his feelings out of his voice. He heard Payu sigh.

"I know Rain. I'm so sorry. Okay, I'll do my best to be home in an hour and we can snuggle in bed and watch some tv."

"Yes please P'Payu! I'll be showered and ready for bed when you get home. See you soon. I love you."

"I love you too, sweet boy. And I'll make it up to you. How about we have dinner out and see a movie this Saturday? Would you like that?" Payu asked.

"Yes! But, can I pick the movie? Please? Please?"

"Of course, but no Korean food? Ok?"

"Fine. But ...... you know that's my favorite. So I pick the movie, we eat anywhere but Korean, and maybe, if I'm good, you'll sing to me?"

Rain heard Payu chuckle. "We'll see monkey, we'll see."

Rain felt reassured after their talk and hurried to shower and get ready for bed. Payu returned home an hour later and gently shook Rain's shoulder. "Rain, did you still want to watch tv?"

Rain sat up with a jolt and threw his arms around Payu. "You're home! Sorry, I fell asleep. But I've already got a movie picked out." He reached over and grabbed his laptop from the nightstand. He placed it in his lap, snuggled into Payu's side, and pressed play with a contented smile. "I'm so happy you're home Payu." Payu kissed his forehead and pulled him in closer.

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Rain finished his shower and got dressed for their date. Payu had been at work all day but had promised to be home by five. As he pulled his hoodie over his head, he saw Payu's name light up on his phone screen. "P'Payu?"

"Sorry, monkey, but I'm not going to make our date. My work is taking longer than I'd planned today. Why don't you head home and spend the night with your mom? I'm sure she'd like that."

"But P'Payu....."

"Got to go, love you Rain."

Rain sat down on the floor, hugged his knees to his chest, and cried.