Slow Slide to the End

Chapter 9

Payu tilted his head back on the bed and closed his eyes, waiting several minutes before beginning.

"Several months ago, P'Pakin asked me to meet with a business associate of his. His name is P'Kittisak. He wanted a new headquarters designed closer to Bangkok. P'Pakin asked me to take the job as a favor to him. I didn't really want to do it because I knew how much of my free time it would take. And while I trust P'Pakin, I didn't really know this other person and what they might be like. People in their line of business aren't always the best of people. So, I was nervous but I didn't really know how to say no. So, I agreed to meet with the man."

Payu looked over at Rain who still sat with his head resting on his knees with eyes trained on Payu's face. Rain had stopped crying and Payu didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"The first time I met him, P'Pakin and P'Chai went with me. They joked around a bit and at the time I got the impression they were friends. I guess I felt relieved and more confident that it would be okay. So, I agreed to take the job."

Payu paused, looking down at Rain's hand. He held tightly to Rain's hand but Rain's hung loosely in his with no grip. He knew he should feel relieved that Rain was letting him hold his hand at all, but it hurt knowing that Rain didn't really want to be holding it.

"At the meeting, he explained the job to me and we discussed compensation and the timeline, which was a very fast turn-a-round time. The amount of money he offered me was shocking to be honest. I guess I felt flattered that someone like him would want to hire me and that the payoff was that big. But then he started talking about how long I had to get it done. I was freaking out inside because there was just no way I could get it done that fast and still do my job at P'Mhok's firm. I looked over at P'Pakin and he just nodded at me. I knew he was telling me to say yes. I should have said no. I know that now and I kind of knew that then. I just couldn't get my mouth to say the words "no thank you." So, I said yes. I said yes and I wish every day I hadn't."

"Also at that first meeting, P'Kittisak introduced me to his daughter, Hathai."

At that, Payu felt Rain's hand pull from his and move back to rest with his other hand under his knees. Payu struggled to breath and looked up at the ceiling. After a moment, he looked over at Rain whose head had turned back down, no longer looking at Payu.

"Rain, I promise nothing happened with Hathai. Absolutely nothing. Her father asked her to be in charge of a lot of the design decisions. So I did work with her a lot. But nothing happened. I swear. She didn't know about you because I didn't talk to them about you. I didn't really want them to know about you. We became friends. But that's it. She's actually really nice and I think you'd like her. Not her father, but her I think you'd like. But I need you to understand that our relationship ended there."

Payu waited a moment hoping Rain would respond. But Rain remained still and did not react.

"Rain, sweet boy. Please look at me. I want you to look at me while I tell you this."

Rain slowly turned his face towards Payu but his eyes remained shut.

"Please," said Payu again.

Rain opened his eyes.

"I did not have a romantic relationship of any kind with Hathai. None at all. Please tell me that you hear and understand that before I go on."

Rain quietly stared at Payu. After a few moments, Rain softly answered, "I understand." Then his head returned to its downward facing position.

"Thank you Rain."

Payu took a few breaths and continued.

"So, I told you and P'Mhok about the project and you both were very understanding in the beginning. I know it took almost all my time away from you and you never complained. You were such a good boy. Too much of a good boy, it turns out."