Mirrors (The Academy)

Chapter 17: Leight Anne.

I look at my fingers, touching the fabric of my pijamas pants. It's new, like my room and my things and some clothes that Indila and Thomas thought I'd like.
There is a scar in the back of my head. There was bleeding, and it was broken so they had to operate. My head had hit so hard that there was a small swelling. From what they told me, it's dangerous. I know nothing about medicine, so I had to trust on what Dr. Roberts said. He also said I would feel the scar in the back of my head forever.
I guess you cannot expect something better when you spend hours and hours in the operation room.
Someone knocks on the door.
"Come in" I whisper.
Of course they can't listen. But they're used to not hear me speak. I haven't been doing a lot of that lately.
Indila knocks on the door and then comes in with towels in her hands. I think is an indirect saying I should shower.
"Hi, honey".
I turn to her. I stare.
I say nothing.
"Does it hurt? It's almost time for your pain killers".
I shake my head, looking at my fingers again. Indila insisted to paint my nails in a happy and pretty golden color when I got out of the hospital. That was two days a go and it's all chipped in the top already.
I guess I just can't have pretty things.
"Are you still feeling tired ? I know how sleepy those make you".
I've been sleeping the last two days. That's what the doctor said the pills would do, and he told me I should sleep a lot to rest. Something about healing nicely.
I don't feel like I'm healing nicely.
I shake my head, even when I do: I feel tired and in pain.
"Jonathan is been waiting, Sang" She says sofly, sitting next to me.
I don't answer.
"He's sorry. And he's your brother. I think you should talk to him, honey. It's hard for a mother to see their two kids are not talking. Forgive him, he's miserable"
I look back at her.
"I don't blame him".
She looks surprised.
"You don't?"
"No. It was wrong, but... I don't blame him".
We keep quiet before she speaks again, quietly and soft. Almost like she's afraid of the answer.
"I don't want to talk with anyone"
"Is that why you haven't talked with your boys?"
I nod, looking out of the window.
"They've been knocking every day, did you know? "
Silence.
"I was so mad at them. To them all. For fighting, for what happened to you. Looking back now, I think I was too hard. And maybe... maybe I rushed things too. Are you happy here, Sang?"
"Yes" I answer after a pause.
But somehow, she looks miserable with my answer.
"I'm sorry, baby. I just couldn't handle not having you here, taking care of you".
I lift my hand to touch hers.
"Don't. I like it here. I'm... glad".
She nods, about to cry.
"You'll have to forgive your mother, baby. I'm so emotional".
I smile at her a little. She stands up and leaves the towels in the little white sofa next to the window.
"Indila?"
"Yes, baby?"
"What's my name?"
Her eyebrows go up in surprise.
"What?"
"My name. The one you gave to that new born baby, the same way you named Jonathan. What's my name?".
She stands there, looking at me for a little while. I've never heard a silence so loud.
Then, she smiles.
"Leight Anne. Your name is Leight Anne".
Leight Anne.
I watch the tiny particles of dust in my room the sunlight brings through the glass.
I nod.
"I'm sorry. I think I need the pain killers now".

Jonathan's point of view.

I stand outside her door.
It's not the first time I do that, but I never go in, not only because she must be hating me now, but because she's been spendind her days sleeping. Just an hour a go she took another pill, and I'm starting yo think she does it on prupose.
I'm never brave enough to open that door and see her face. I'm scared. I'm not used to feel this way for myself. I'm always scared or worried about my family, but this is new.
I'll never forgive myself, for hurting my sister. When I close my eyes, I can see Sang's wide eyes staring back at mine. Terrified. Dissapointed.
I'm sorry.
My hand goes to the knob and turn. And there she is: curled in a ball, fragile and helpless.
We weren't sure she'd made it, after a while.

Luke's point of view.

I stare at my chocolate pancakes, left cold in my plate.
In front of me, North plays with his food in silence, and Uncle just stared at us.
"So I'm guessing you haven't heard from Sang".
North shakes his head.
He doesn't even growl anymore.
"Luke, aren't you gonna eat your food?"
"I'm not hungry".
Now I'm never hungry. North knows this. He knows a lot of things. The spark of guiltiness is bright in his eyes when he stands up and leaves. I glance at Uncle before chasing after North. I find him in his trailer, dialing Sang.
She will not answer.
"It's not your fault".
He doesn't answer.
He never answers now.

Sang point of view .

When I wake up, it's dark outside. It's my life now: Sleeping at day, waking up at night.
I am a zombie.
In my cell phone, the screen tells me I missed phone calls. I already know who they're from. It's not hard.
But just like with Jonathan, I'm not ready to talk with anyone yet. I'm not even mad at them anymore. I'm dissapointed.
I'm not sure if feeling rage was better.
There is a knock on the door. I stand up and oprn up for Thomas or Indila since they are the only ones who stop by here. Except that is not him who I see.
"Derek?"
He's standing there, with all that wild brunette hair and his hands in the pockets of his blue jeans.
"Hi"
I don't open more the door for him to come in.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I never had the chance since you got out out the hospital".
"Derek? You and I, it's never going to happen".
"I'm sorry. I know. I shouldn't have"
"No. You shouldn't".
Silence.
"I'm sorry" He repeats.
"I"m in love with someone else, Derek. Deeply in love. I gave my heart years a go, and I don't think I want it back. Never".
"I understand. Damn, Sang, I... I'm sorry. When I walked into the room you were there and you looked so beautiful... and I couldn't remember my sister and the horrible things she did. And I..."
"You wanted me to forget".
"Yes. I'm sorry. I was wrong, and insistent. I knew you had a boyfriend. I was thinking that maybe... maybe we could start again? As friends?"
It takes me to answer. I'm about to say no, but I think about sixteen year old Sang and this nineteen year old Sang. Sixteen year old would say yes begging for love and forgiveness, nineteen would say no. But today, it's someone else who wants to start over. Someone different, someone who wants to evolve, to change. Free of rage or pain or frustration.
It's Leight Anne.
That's me now.
"Yes" I say "Let's start over. Let's start from the beginning".

That night, when they think I'm still asleep and they're having dinner, I come downstairs. Standing in front of them, I stare.
They look susprised. Jonathan looks broken.
But I'm goning to fix it. Not today, and not tomorrow, but I will. Eventually.
"I want to change my name" I announce.

After some thinking, I've come to realize this is one of the lasts chapters. Hope you enjoy.