Song - Wonderland by CHVRCHES
This song perfectly sums up how I imagine Victoria to be feeling in this chapter.
TW: smut
Roger's PoV
She was seated in the bathtub, the warm water lapping softly around her, facing away from me, her shoulder blades cutting through her paper thin skin as she hugged her knees to her chest, her head rested on top of them. Seeing her like that, so broken and fragile, truly broke my heart. She shivered slightly as the cold night air hit the parts of her body not submerged. Goosebumps erupted along her spine.
It had been a long night for her. Although we had both gotten home with relative ease, evading the flashing lights of the paparzzi, I knew the journey had not been an easy one for her to make. Here she was again, over a hundred miles from her adopted home, seemingly at the whim of the guy who had broken her heart aged eighteen, with no clue when she might return home. What this sudden change of plan could mean for her. What she wanted it to mean. The journey was doubtless made harder still by the presence of Brian in her car.
She hadn't told me what they had spoken about, how they had chosen to fill the silence, if indeed they did, in that hour long period. She had barely said a word since she had clambered out of the car, stalking into the house to see her daughter as I thanked Brian for his efforts. She had remained silent as she crept into our daughters room, pressing a small kiss to the sleeping child's crown. Her eyes were wide open, yet there was no alertness there; it was almost as though behind their red rings, they were unable to focus on anything.
"I'll run you a bath, darling. I know you've had a long day, and it will help you unwind" I had whispered softly as I pressed a gently kiss to her temple. She hadn't responded, merely looked out at me blankly, lifelessly, as I filtered out of the room and set about running her a bath, running my hands through the water to ensure it was just the temperature she liked it as I poured in bath salts and bubble bath, trying to make it as relaxing as possible. Once I had lit some candles around the baths edge, I had rushed from the room to grab some towels. It must have been at that moment that she had crawled into the tub, disrobing in the process.
And here I was, unintentionally encroaching on her solitude. Watching her tremble slightly, my eyes fixated on the spinal movements of her lower back, it felt as though I were intruding. Even though this morning I believed I had seen the girl in every light I thought possible, here I was, seeing a side to her I had never spied before. And it broke my heart, how broken that girl in the bathtuub looked.
I wanted to run to her, to hold her in my arms, to promise it would all be okay. But I couldn't. Because for all I knew, I could have been the cause of her pain; fear of being back here, with me, may have brought on this surge of negative emotions.
"Hey, I brought you some towels" The strength of my voice caught me slightly off guard as I emerged fully into the bathroom, carefully draping the towels over the radiatior. She glanced up at me, blinking softly, as though she were awaking from some awful dream and finally processing what was happening to her.
"Roger" her voice came out little more than a whisper, raspy and cracked from tears unfallen, "can you stay with me?" At her words, my heart danced. All I wanted was to stay with her. "I know it's late, but I need someone right now. I need you right now" she pleaded softly. I shushed her gently as I sank to the carpeted floor beside the brass bathtub, my hand instantly finding hers. A ghost of a sad smile danced on her lips in the pale candlelight.
"I'll always stay with you, Tori. You know that. It's me and you against the world" I reassured her. She bit her lip softly, as her wet hand snaked behind my head, her fingers tangling themselves in my hair as she slowly pulled me in for a kiss. It was short, and sweet, mingled with the taste of Victoria's salted tears, but it was what we needed, to reminder each other we were still here, willing to fight for the other, against all odds.
