Adoration

Chapter Two

The apartment around me was no longer an empty cold space, my dark green sofa was covered in an array of throws, my walls were lined with framed horror movie posters and candles lit up the room expelling scents of cinnamon and cloves. It was finally finished exactly to my liking and I could enjoy the peace and quiet.

I am lucky enough to have a small balcony , there is just enough room for a chair and some plants but it suits me quite nice. Taking a perch the cold evening air dances across my skin leaving goosebumps as it glides. I look out and can see the neighbourhood below remarkably well as I am on the seventh floor . People walk home from work quickly as the nights are starting to get darker and colder. Just visible is a little coffee shop with hanging baskets filled with black dahlias and I make a mental note to visit tomorrow. I notice a row of apple trees lining the path to the park , the red skin glinting against the fast setting sun. Underneath the tallest tree sits a man dressed in all black, his face is pointed down, he could be sleeping for all I know. As I go to head back in something catches my eye. I twist back round to look at my view and notice what has changed.

The Black Dahlias are still blooming.

The people still hurry home in big coats.

The apple trees are still filled with shiny apples.

The man is still sitting under the tree.

My eyes pan everything again my heart slightly beating faster trying to solve the puzzle of what has changed and then I see it.

He is looking up at me. No doubt about it. His face is hidden in the shadows of the branches denying me the chance to see his identity. The darkness is slowly kidnapping his form making it harder to see him the more time passes.

We fight for who will break first, a cold sweat forming on my skin, sickness filling my stomach as he watches me, I feel the urge to scream down at the creep. But I know nothing good will happen from that and I head inside.

The warmth envelops me instantly helping me forget about the man outside. I make my favourite meal for my first night on my own , a nice sweet potato and pumpkin soup with a cheese toastie to to dip in. Just as I take a seat there is a loud knock at my door. My spoon clatters on the ceramic table echoing through out my flat.

Nobody should be coming over tonight, I made sure to keep tonight free so I could have my first night completely on my own. Possibly it is the landlord checking in on me, or my mum dropping something off that I forgot.

However there is this lump in my throat that tells me something horrid is behind that door, something toxic, possibly dangerous and I will regret opening it.

They knock again.

Could it possibly be the man from under the tree. He gave me the same feeling of dread and danger. I slowly step towards the door, every inch feeling like I'm walking into a lion's den. A third knock stirs me and I slyly look through the peephole.

My heart sinks and I open the door.

"Nadia! You scared me, what are you doing here?" I sighed taking a deep breath.

"You couldn't spend your first night on your own, of course I had to come round" She beams whilst pushing through the door eagerly.

"Wow your flat looks gorgeous" She shouts through as she quickly scurries around the apartment . "Aww our first photo together".

Nadia had already found my photos on a little shelf in my bedroom. I had only three photos I cared about, a photo of me and Nads when we first started dating, one of my parents and me camping and one of me meeting the cast of scream at comic con when I was 18. I wasn't much for sentimental stuff I was more a collectables type of person which is why my flat was covered in horror themed merchandise and memorabilia.

Nadia always said it made her slightly uncomfortable, to some degree I could understand that having a life size chucky doll in my bedroom was weird to some but I found comfort in things that frightened me. The doll is now in my living room so at least it doesn't face her while she sleeps.

The night continues as they usually do with Nadia we eat, watch a movie and head to bed early as she has to get up at 6 for work. I have bought a new pair of pyjamas that were a little more stylish than what I usually wear to bed. A pink satin shirt and shorts with little red hearts, I lie on my side facing the black wall trying to fall into slumber but struggling.

Nadia's fingers trace the lines of my tattoos covering my thighs,gently using her nails here and there it tickles sending shivers through my body. "You're beautiful" She whispers into my ear tucking the hair behind my ear so she can place her lips on my neck. Compliments always have made me feel uncomfortable even when coming from someone who loves me. Her fingers run up my legs edging closer between my legs.

"I want to touch you" fingers find their way down my shorts sending knots in my stomach to form. Her words sound erotic but do not evoke a reaction. I think I am broken. She is gorgeous , sweet and loves me unconditionally . Perhaps I just need to learn what works for my body or perhaps I just can't orgasm.

She rolls me over so I am on my back , leaving kisses down my stomach whilst pulling off my shorts. Her head lies between my thighs her mouth working its way to help me achieve climax. I imitate moans I have seen in porn and finish with a gasp, pretending to cum.

She kisses me allowing me to taste myself on her lips. Before we go to sleep I return the favour and watch as she wriggles and can't contain her feelings even grabbing my head in desperation. Is this how I am meant to feel?

I am happy to solely please her but how do I tell her I feel nothing when she touches me. I get comfort when we cuddle, butterflies when we kiss but nothing when we fuck.

She is asleep before I know it, gently snoring away. I toss and turn but nothing seems to help. Finding myself thirsty I head to the kitchen to grab a drink, I flick the lights on adjusting my eyes. Once I can fully see I notice a note has been pushed under my door. I am expecting a message from the landlord so this is probably it.

Before I even pick it up I can tell that this is not from the landlord. My fingers tremble and drop the card.

I loved hearing you moan, it's a shame it was fake - V