GOH:13

153 8 13
                                    

In life, we often look for something that we don't have. We often look for someone that we had already lost.

Even if it settles just in a dream.

"Papa." A small girl called my name.

She had the same features to Emily and she has my eyes, she will always be beautiful. I wonder what would she be like once she'll grow up.

"Hello, baby." I smiled and cupped her little face.

She's cold. I-I know that she was never real in the first place. But even if it's the case, atleast in this way,

I can be her father. I can act as one even if I'm too late.

"Papa, are we going to a trip again with Mama this time?"

Lumuhod naman ako para tapatan siya. My parents were trying so hard to seperate me with them.

Alam ko namang hindi 'to pwede. Hirap na hirap na ako sa buhay kong 'to.

Up until now, I'm still blaming myself for hurting her. For crushing her dream. For not being by her side.

For being a failure to them.

I hugged my daughter as if it would be my last with her. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko ulit siya makikita ulit. But if my death is the only answer just so I could be with them, then I'll gladly end my life.

Nakakapagod ng mag isa. I already lost my life by the time that they both left me.

"Baby Emma, would it be fine if Papa will stay here?"

"Forever?"

I saw how my daughter's face changed from her happy face to being sad.

"Papa, Mama said that you should live."

"Right, Mama?" She said from my back.

A tear escaped from my eye realizing that Emily is here. I can see her again.

"Hon." She called for my name. "It's been awhile, Jess."

Her voice is still the same. I never would jave thought that the Emily that I have in this dream is not real.

I faced her and in an instant,

Tears continually fell from my eyes. Just having the sight from her, saves me from the madness that I am feeling. The heavy feeling was gone.

But the pain intensifies for seeing her this time again. It's the pain that I would gladly receive. Kahit nasasaktan akong nakikita siya ngayon,

Ang saya saya ko parin.

She's maybe gone, but in my world, in my heart, and in my life,

My wife never disappeared. She will always stay no matter what.

"E-Emily. Y-You're here right? Magpapakita ka ulit 'di ba?"

Her face shows it all. She's pitying me again.

"Jess, alam mo ba nang dahil sa amin ng anak mo, sinisira mo na ang buhay mo?"

"Please, let go of us Jess. Live your life and start again." She cupped my face and kissed my forehead. It's really one of Emily's favorite gestures.

I just do think....that the Emily that I am seeing now, is the one that I love. The one that I spent my life with.

"H-How could I live without you again, Em?" I hold her hand and kissed it gently. "There's no way that I can start again when I already lost the two of you."

"Em."

"Hindi ko na kayang magmahal ulit." I can't see myself from loving another woman again. I don't want to create any other family again.

It's just Emily and Emma. Just them.

"If this could be the end of everything, then let's stay like this, hon. Let's stay in this place."


"Okay lang ba? Okay lang ba na samahan mo ulit kami, Jess?"


I laughed gently. My sweet wife.


"Reaaaally Mama? Papa will stay with us? Foreveeeer?"


I sometimes wonder if this is my reality or if it's just my ego.

"Emily and Emma, magkakasama na ulit tayong ulit."


"So please do wait for me."


Until we meet again, hon. Until I can be with the two of you once again.


@Miss_Acyl




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