California Secrets (Billy Hargrove)

- 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 -

- Katherine Witherfield -

"Hey baby," I greet James as he runs into the house and makes it to me. I wrap my arms around him, holding him tight while I look over his shoulder and at Billy. "How was your day with your dad?"

"Amazing!" James cheers once he pulls away from my embrace. "We went to play mini golf, but before that, Dad left this one girl on the side of the road because she was being a whiny bitch!"

My eyes widen, looking at Billy with my mouth wide. "Language," I correct James.

"Sorry Mommy, but Dad says bad words all the time." I raise my eyebrows at Billy.

"What?" He shrugs it off. "He hears it everywhere other than me. People curse all the time. Plus, he is old enough."

"He's three!"

"So?" I roll my eyes at Billy's attitude. "Well, I gotta go buddy," he says to James. "I love you," he says, opening his arms wide for a hug, which James gladly accepts.

"I love you!" James says to him before Billy leaves.

Billy may be an asshole, but his sweet spot for James is so wholesome that it reminds me of the good person he is underneath the bad. It reminds me of why I started to fall in love with him.

I need to make amends, and I need to do it before it's too late.

🌊🌊🌊

"Psst," I whisper to Billy, attempting to get his attention through the loud echo of Mr. Winfrey's voice. I fail, although I don't know whether or not it is because Billy can't hear me or that he doesn't want to.

"Billy," I whisper out again. After my many attempts, he finally snaps his head to me, an aggravated look on his face.

"What?" He asks angrily.

"Can we talk soon?"

"Yeah, sure, when I pick James up this weekend," he answers, turning his head back to the teacher. I don't know who he is trying to fool. We all know he's not actually paying any attention.

"No, I mean just us," I correct.

He scowls at me. "No, I don't want to talk to you any more than I need to," he argues.

"I just.... I need to talk to you."

"No," he denies once again.

"I will answer your question," I propose. "I just want to win your trust back." Billy takes a deep breath, looking down at the desk as if it will give him any answers. I watch as a million thoughts run through his head, and I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer. He breathes out with a long sigh before looking back to me.

"Fine," he finally agrees, his ocean blue eyes meeting mine again. "Meet me in the empty parking lot by the grocery after school. I'm not gonna give you long."

I smile in triumph, giving him a little nod and taking this as a win. I turn back to listen to Mr. Winfrey, but I can't seem to pay attention. I struggle to put all my thoughts together about what I want to tell Billy. If I want to gain his trust back, I will need to tell him everything.

🌊🌊🌊

I pull into the empty parking lot, where I see Billy sitting on the roof of his Camaro with a cigarette hanging from his mouth in the distance. I pull up, parking close to him before getting out and heading over to where he waits for me. He blows out his smoke, watching as I take each step closer. I jump up onto the roof of his car, taking the spot next to him. We sit in silence for a moment. I'm a little scared to speak, not exactly sure on where to start and what to admit first.

"I'm sorry," I begin, looking over to see Billy's face. He is staring down onto the pavement of the road as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette. "I really messed up." He doesn't say a thing. His expression is blank as he stays lost in his thoughts.

"I didn't move here for a new start," I state, deciding that this is a small thing to start with. "We moved here for James. I thought that this would be a nice, calm, subtle town to raise him in."

"And to get away from me," Billy adds.

"And to get away from you," I admit. "And to get away from my dad," I say, and Billy looks over to me, his eyebrows furrowed. "My parents had divorced, obviously, but not for the reasons you thought. I mean their marriage was already on thin ice, but when we told my dad about James, he flipped. He went ballistic, and it was scary. My mother divorced him and we left. It's just been us ever since."

"I don't really need to know your backstory, Katherine," Billy says to me. "I want to know why you lied. I want to know why you didn't tell me about James and why you just left!" He exaggerates the last words, and it makes my stomach drop. I stay quiet for a moment, and he waits, looking at me expectantly. I sigh, giving into what I know he wants me to say.

"I didn't tell you because I was scared," I confess. "I was scared on what you would think, what you would do. Even you said you probably wouldn't have stayed and helped me raise James. If anything, you would have just acted like nothing happened. I was protecting James, or at least I thought I was. I thought I was protecting you, especially from your dad. We were young, and everything would have been changed. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I'm sorry, Billy," I apologize with my whole heart. "I am so, so sorry I never told you about James."

He takes a deep drag of his cigarette, letting it out with a sigh. "My dad will definitely beat my ass," he agrees. "But I care more about James than I care about myself. I would have gladly taken the beatings for him." He licks his lips, turning his head to me. "No amount of sorry's will ever make up for the years I spent not knowing about my son, but I care about you too. Even if you're a lying bitch, I still care about you."

I laugh quietly at his profession. "I care about you too, Billy. Deeply."

"Then you should have told me."

"I know," I agree, and a silent tear rolls down my left cheek. A soft whimper escapes my lips, and Billy lightly wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his side. We sit in peace, allowing each other to collect our thoughts. My tears start to grow more constant, and I silently sob in Billy's hold.

"I'm sorry, Billy. I love you, I'm sorry," I sob, lost in my emotions washing over me all at once.

"It's okay," he whispers back to me out into the quiet air around us.

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awwww why do I wanna cry

thank u for reading :)

-Liz <3