A Funny Thing Happened in Spanish Class

Date Night

On Friday evening at six o'clock, Carmen van Keef sat on the couch with her legs crossed, painting her nails and watching America's Got Talent with her friends Kim and Bailey on video call.

Carmen was 21 years old and stood a statuesque 5'11". She had strawberry blonde hair that fell in curls and waves down her shoulder blades and dark eyes she inherited from her father. Kim was of Filipino descent and had chocolate brown hair and eyes and chestnut skin. Bailey had light brown hair and warm gray eyes. She was noticeably chubby.

"Kruger's ghost, this bitch couldn't carry a tune if it was in a bucket," said Carmen to her friends about a particular contestant on the show whose singing left a lot to be desired.

"Ugh, I can hear her from here," said Kim.

"Guys, I need your opinion," said Bailey, holding up two bottles of nail polish to her phone camera. "coral red or periwinkle?"

Carmen and Kim responded simultaneously.

"Coral red," said Carmen.

"Periwinkle," said Kim.

The three girls stared at each other for a moment in silence. Seconds later that silence was broken by the doorbell of the van Keef house ringing.

"Doorbell!" called Carmen.

"You're in the living room, jong dame," Anne van Keef, Carmen and Arno's mother, called back. "You answer it."

Carmen rolled her eyes as she got up. She walked over to the door and opened it. On the stoop stood Beckie Applebaum. She was wearing a dark teal button-up shirt and form fitting black jeans.

"Hi, is Arno here?" she asked.

Carmen frowned. "Yeah, that's my little brother," she said. "Lemme guess: you've got a bone to pick with him."

"No, not at all!" said Beckie. "Me and Arno agreed to hang out tonight. I'm here to pick him up."

Carmen stared at Beckie. "Wait," she said, "you're taking Arno... on a date?"

Beckie blushed. She averted her eyes, her gaze darting from place to place. "Yeah..." she said softly with a chuckle.

Carmen raised an eyebrow at this. "So he's got you picking him up and everything?"

"I offered," said Beckie. "I said it would be no problem."

Carmen laughed and shook her head. She turned and called up the stairs, "ARNO, YOUR DATE'S HERE!!"

"Oh shit!" cried Arno's voice from his room.

"Arnold Hendrik van Keef, I will not tolerate that kind of filthy talk in my house!" snapped Pieter, Arno and Carmen's father, from his study.

Carmen turned back to Beckie. "He fell asleep," she said. "This could take a while."

"That's fine," said Beckie calmly.

Nobody spoke for the next several minutes. The only sound in the room was that of the TV. Carmen invited Beckie in, but retook her seat without inviting Beckie to sit. Carmen resumed painting her nails.

"So..." said Beckie, trying desperately to cut through the awkwardness that hung in the air. "What's that color you're painting your nails?"

"Periwinkle," said Carmen without looking up. "Anyway, what do you see in my brother?"

Beckie's face turned bright red and she closed her eyes. "I dunno... he's cute. He's really sweet and funny—"

"He's a fucking retard," said Carmen bluntly.