Under the Same Moon | Levi x OC

Chapter 9 - Blind Pessimism

Erwin

"The Expedition budget was finally approved," Sadies revealed.
"I see," Erwin replied, careful to keep his face neutral despite the surge of excitement he felt.
"You're not surprised?"
"I'm just relieved. I had already begun my preparations, after all."
Sadies regarded him a moment, arms folded. "It seems as though the leader of the faction which so vigorously opposed the Expeditions suddenly came around."
"Nicholas Lovof, I take it."
"So you knew after all. A while ago, you told me that you were certain the Expeditions would be approved, which is why you began preparations... Erwin, could it be that you forced Lovof to change his mind through some indecent means?" He paused as realisation hit. "Anastasya."
Erwin hid a smile.
"She discovered that Lovof has dealings with the Lang Company, which provides goods for the Military Police. It seems he was planning to redirect the Expedition funds to them."
"One day, she's going to get herself into trouble," Sadies said, frowning.
"If that day ever comes, I'll get her out of it."
"I should punish her for her insubordination today, in front of everyone no less..."
"I apologise on her behalf. She has her reasons for not wanting her own squad."
"Oh?"
"She worries that it will affect her...other activities."
"You mean her espionage."
"Yes. And she's scared."
"Scared? Of what?"
"Of being responsible for people's deaths. If she were to have a squad and any one of them died, she would be devastated."
"Hmph. The rest of us have to deal with it."
The carriage rolled to a gentle stop and, shortly after, the driver appeared to open the door for them.
"So," said Sadies, as he got out. "What do you plan to do, Erwin?"
"Please don't ask me for any further information. Anastasya and I are acting on this independently."
"Go down a dangerous path, and you may never make it back out."
Erwin hesitated, then stood on the carriage step, calling after Sadies as he walked away.
"Commander." Sadies paused and turned back. "It was only after joining the Survey Corps, and coming face-to-face with a Titan, that I came to understand just how frail humanity is. Wealth, and power... Noble ideals... All of that would count for naught if the Titans were to make it past the walls, which is why we will use any means necessary to ensure that the Expeditions, and our efforts to take back this world from the Titans, are not abandoned! For the future of humanity!" he exclaimed, jumping from the carriage before saluting and striding away.
Moments later Anastasya fell into step beside him, seemingly appearing from thin air.
"So?" she asked.
"So what?"
"Don't be obtuse," she groaned.
"The funding for the Expeditions has been granted," he said, unable to hold back his smile as a fierce grin broke out across her face.
"Ah, another job well done," she said, practically skipping beside him. "Now we just need to finish up perfecting the new formation and we'll be ready to get out there again."
"Yes. Thank you, Anastasya. I don't think I could have done it without you."
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "That's why we make such a good team, though."
"How was your day?"
"It was spent playing diplomat and babysitting while touring HQ, essentially. Oh, and there's the biggest, sulkiest baby of them all," she said, before dropping her voice to a whisper. "Or should I say...the littlest."
Levi had emerged from the other side of the courtyard, stalking towards them like a wild animal, eyes burning with hatred. Erwin locked gazes with him, and the three of them passed each other in a charged silence. Once he and Anastasya were inside, she turned to him, eyes wide.
"That was tense," she said.
"Did they say or do anything suspicious during the tour?"
"No. Levi nearly came to blows with Flagon, though that's not exactly hard to do. He really has a problem with cleanliness, that one."
Erwin opened the door to his office and let Anastasya in first. She immediately kicked off her shoes and sprawled out over her favourite couch, while he lit a couple of lanterns before going to sit at his desk.
"Who?"
"Levi," she said. "It's thanks to having lived in the squalor of that damned place, I'm sure."
"Anastasya..."
She sat up straight to look at him. "Hmm?"
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"For what I said in the carriage yesterday. It was ignorant of me. I've never judged you for the things you've had to do to survive, and I never will. I judged those three firstly because I don't know them like I know you, and secondly because of what we do know about them."
To his surprise, she smiled and flopped back down on the couch.
"Apology accepted."
"Just like that."
"Just like that," she said. "I don't like fighting with you, Erwin."
"No, you prefer to fight with Flagon."
She waved a dismissive hand in the air. "Eh, he's asking for it."
"I had to stop the Commander from punishing you for your refusal to have a squad earlier, you know."
"...Really?" she asked, clearly troubled.
"You underestimate yourself."
He put the document he'd been skimming through back on his desk and went to go and sit with her, lifting her feet and placing them on his lap. She tilted her head up to look at him.
"It's not about that," she said. "I know I can lead a team. Easily."
"Then what?"
"You know what. I don't want to be tied down. I don't want people to depend on me. I want them to be able to think for themselves, not constantly coming to me for orders, and I certainly don't want to be responsible for their deaths."
"So teach them how to think independently whilst still following your orders."
She sighed. "But I like being free to go where I want. To be with you when it counts."
Erwin also liked that she was with him on Expeditions, and he felt utterly selfish because of it. He'd ended things between them to focus on their shared dream, to prioritise the goal rather than dedicating himself to her, and yet still she followed him, and still he wanted her.
"I know," he said. "But other people need you. Think of all the lives you might be able to save were you to become a Section Commander."
She made a small sound of frustration. "If those three survive beyond the walls and if, after a while, we're certain they won't try to kill us, I'll take responsibility for them. But not as a Team Leader or a Section Commander."
"What, then?"
"A Captain. My squad will be smaller than others, specialising in reconnaissance. I quite like the sound of Captain Anastasya. Don't you?"
He pushed back a smile. "You'd have to convince the Commander."
"Easy peasy."
"You're going to give him heart problems, the way you go on. You know he considers you like a daughter."
"Eh, I'll buy him something nice for Christmas to make up for it."
"Did you find anything out in the tavern last night?"
"No, not really."
"You shouldn't go there so much."
"I like it there. People are friendly, the prices are cheap, and there's a small fortune to be won."
"If you're having a good night. If not..."
"Ah, but they're rare. I learnt from the best, remember?"
He chuckled. "After you begged me to teach you, yes."
"Yep." Anastasya's stomach rumbled, and she moaned dramatically. "How long until dinner?"
"Half an hour."
"I can't wait. I'll die before then."
Erwin got up and placed Anastasya's feet back on the couch, before going to his desk and pulling out a small box of biscuits.
"Food?" she asked hopefully, upon hearing rustling.
"I was saving them for a special occasion," he said. "But I suppose the fact that we've secured the funding for the Expeditions is a good enough reason."
"Of course it is!"
She jumped up and sat on the desk, and he offered the box to her. She reached in and grabbed two, before cramming one into her mouth.
"Mm," she mumbled.
"Not bad," he conceded, after trying one in a decidedly more dignified manner.
"Where did you get them?"
"I bought them the last time I was in Mitras."
"So um, is that drawer...a snack drawer?"
"No. Anastasya, don't go rooting through my things to find food," he warned her.
She stuck her biscuit-coated tongue out at him, and he could only shake his head in mock despair.

***

Levi

They'd hardly been made to feel welcome. Levi, Furlan and Isabel sat alone in the mess hall while, all around, them their so-called fellow Scouts laughed, chatted and ate together. Levi looked up just as Anya and Erwin walked in. They were instantly invited to join several tables. Anya leant down and whispered something in another woman's ear, before the woman started laughing like a maniac. She had chestnut-brown hair and maroon, bespectacled eyes, and appeared to be a Section Commander. Anastasya moved on and grabbed a tray to collect food, Erwin following close behind.
"There she is," said Isabel, in a hushed voice.
"Hmm?" Furlan asked.
"The nice one. Anya."
"Ah. Isabel; don't go getting attached. Remember what we're here for."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
To their astonishment, Anya left Erwin and suddenly plonked herself down at their table. The entire mess hall fell silent. She raised her eyebrows and leaned back on the bench.
"Oh? You all seem to have gone very quiet," she exclaimed, before dropping her voice into an overdramatic whisper. "Is there something I should know about the food?"
A split second later, the hall burst into conversation again. Anya shook her head and picked up her fork. Levi didn't miss the troubled expression that crossed Erwin's face, and he took some small satisfaction in it when the great blonde oaf turned away and went to sit with Miche and his squad.
"Don't you want to eat with your friends?" Isabel asked, eyes wide with curiosity.
"I have a lot of friends," Anya replied, after swallowing a mouthful. "Can't be in multiple places at once. How's the food?"
"It's very nice, thank you!" said Furlan.
She directed her intense, amethyst-blue gaze at Levi, then. "Did you manage to find those cleaning supplies I told you about?"
"Yes," he said stiffly. For the life of him, he couldn't figure her out. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. They're probably a bit lacking, if I'm honest, but hey. Beggars can't be choosers, and all that," she winked.
He wasn't sure if it was meant to be an insult or just a very tongue-in-cheek remark but Furlan, at least, chuckled.
"So," she continued. "Tomorrow's your first day of training. Excited?"
"Yeah!" said Isabel. "I heard we'll get to ride horses!"
She nodded. "The Survey Corps has over 600 horses, all of which are bred specifically for us. They're the only thing that can outrun a Titan, so we rely on them a lot. Some soldiers treat them just as tools; they don't know how to understand them, think they're expendable. I, on the other hand, believe they deserve respect."
"Do Titans try to eat them?" Furlan asked.
"No. Titans are only interested in humans, but of course, horses still risk being overexerted or caught between a human and a Titan, so they've got a dangerous job, too. You'll have to be up early. Breakfast is at 7, and Flagon wants to be out of here not long after."
"I don't mind early mornings," Isabel replied.
"Anya does," the maroon-eyed woman she'd spoken to earlier said, taking a seat next to her and handing her a drink.
"Thanks. It's true; I hate early starts," she said. "Much more a night owl. This is Hange, by the way."
"Pleased to meet you," said Hange.
"You, too," said Furlan, unable to stop sneaking glances at Anya.
"You guys taught yourselves how to use ODM gear, right?" Hange asked.
"Yeah," Levi replied.
"I can't wait to see you use it tomorrow. Maybe you've got a different technique! You know, it's usual to have to train for a few years in the Cadet Corps before joining the Scouts, but you three have joined just like that," Hange said, snapping her fingers.
Unlike Flagon, she didn't appear at all annoyed or hostile. In fact, she seemed curious and excited. Maybe even a little too much.
"What were the Cadet Corps like?" Furlan asked, directing the question at Anya.
"I wouldn't know," she replied, finishing the last of her food.
"Huh?"
"Anya was a special exception," Hange said.
"I still trained," she clarified. "Just not in the Cadet Corps, and not for years."
"How long have you been in the Survey Corps?" Levi found himself asking, not knowing why the hell he cared.
"Hmm... Nearly ten years."
"I've only been in it for six months or so," said Hange. "Anya's a veteran by now."
"Don't say that, it makes me seem old," she scolded.
"You're younger than me!"
"Not by much."
Levi was shocked. Although she looked young, her authority and her sway over the others suggested she was older. She must've joined the Scouts at a stupidly young age.
Anya and Hange stayed to chat with Furlan and Isabel a while longer, but then they stood to leave.
"Well, see you tomorrow morning," said Anya. "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to kill fake Titans."
"Have a good night," Furlan said, his cheeks flushed pink.
"Bye!" Isabel waved.
Levi remained silent, simply watching her go and once again wondering how the hell they were going to kill her.