Fairytale of New York - Professor Bucky x Reader

Ten

Y/N

The drive home to Elmdale was long, much too long. The traffic heading out of the city was relentless, drawing the drive out even longer, meaning that you simply had more time in your own head, more time to ponder over what had happened, and mourn the loss of Bucky.

Yelena, who had taken Bucky's place on your trip, tried to keep you entertained during the drive, having chosen to take the wheel so that you could relax, singing off-key to every song that came on shuffle and regaling you with stories of her party antics, but it didn't work, as much as you wished it would. Your mind kept wandering to Bucky, to the girl - Dot - in his kitchen, and to the look of guilt on his face.

When the pair of you finally arrived outside your parents house you immediately rushed to your childhood bedroom and closed the door, barely even saying 'hello' to your family, leaving Yelena to fend for herself.

A week passed by quickly, and Christmas approached. Your family kept trying to drag you into family activities, hoping to cheer you up.

"Why don't you come to the Christmas Market with me?" Your mum would ask.

"Or maybe we could take the dog for a walk?" Your dad would suggest.

"Christmas movie marathon?" Was your older brother's proposal.

You always went with them and joined in, not wanting to upset them during the holidays, but your heart wasn't really in it, and it was clear that they knew that. You hadn't told them what had happened, you didn't even tell Yelena until the night before Christmas Eve.

She had come into you room where you were sat in bed, watching a crappy Christmas movie on Netflix, although you hadn't really been paying attention, your mind focused on the last conversation that you'd had with Bucky.

"So, are you planning to tell me what's going on?" She asked from the doorway, ripping your thoughts away and bringing you back to reality. When you didn't immediately answer she moved to position herself in your bed beside you, pulling the covers up to keep her warm. "What happened between you and Professor Barnes?"

In all honesty, you were embarrassed, ashamed that you had ever let yourself fall into that trap in the first place. But as Yelena pushed, begging you to tell her, you finally let it spill from your lips.

Tears welled in your eyes as you spoke, letting out everything that you had been holding to yourself for the past week. Her expression was that of shock and sympathy as you continued to tell the story, even letting slip that you had brought his present with you because for a second, when you had been getting ready to leave the next day, you had completely forgotten what had happened, until it hit you again as soon as you sat down in the car.

"I'm so sorry," was all Yelena could say, and you shrugged, wiping a stray tear from your cheek.

"You know the stupidest part?" You continued. "I actually thought that this was the one that was going to last. That this was real, that I was important to him. I guess not."

You choked back a sob, but as soon as Yelena wrapped her arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug, you began to weep, unable to hold it back any longer. The pair of you sat like that for most of the night, your head resting on her shoulder, until you both finally fell asleep.

***

Christmas Eve was usually your favourite time of year; the anticipation, the festivities, the magical feeling of knowing that Christmas was only one sleep away. But you didn't feel very festive that year. You curled up on the sofa, your family and Yelena long asleep already. You held a cup of tea in your hands to warm them from the cold, the fire blazing in the hearth. The lights were turned off, but the golden glow from the Christmas tree in the corner was enough to light the room as you sat there, absentmindedly watching 'Elf', waiting for the moment that sleep would take over and you'd finally be able to head to bed.