A D A M A N T

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“But Prerna invited us both. It's her birthday.” I whined. One thing I had noticed, Shravan hated whining. “I don't want to go there alone, please, Shravan!” 

“Aditya is going.” Shravan looked out of the window. The weather was unbelievably good. The July rain was constantly washing away all the dirt from the leaves of the trees, making them dance in joy in the soothing cold breeze. 

I blocked the view standing in front of the window, “But I want you to come with me. What would you do anyway other than writing in that stupid diary of yours?” 


Shravan huffed, “I don't know her, Suman.” I waited for him to finish, but it looked like he was done with the conversation. He went to sit on his study chair. 

“You know me,” I followed him and sat on the edge of the table, “isn't that enough for you?” Shravan looked at me, but as usual, he said nothing. “Please, Shravan.” I made my best pleading puppy eyes, but still nothing. He kept staring at me as if he was waiting for me to finish the dramatics.

“Fine,” I stomped, “you don't have to come, and I am never going to talk to you,” I hurried toward his bed to gather where I left my books, “I’ll never bother you again, you stay alone. I am going.” I turned toward him to see if my blackmail was working or not.


And that's when I saw genuine fear in his eyes. He looked flushed, gripping the corners of the table — he seemed to be having a hard time breathing, “Shravan!” Even my eleven-year-old brain understood, there was some serious problem, “Shravan, what happened?”


“I'll— I’ll — go with you.” was his meek answer. 


If I looked back now, I could tell it was the telltale sign of a panic attack. God, how scared he was that day. At that party he was always by my side, always looking at me — after me. 


But now that I looked at him, that vulnerable Shravan was nowhere to find. Wearing a navy blue suit, black shirt, and red tie, he was the central point of attention of many. Women were mesmerised, and men wanted to know the secret behind the power that was emitting in his wake. One hand twirling the flute of champagne another shoved inside his pocket, he looked every bit of the arrogant, calculating cold lawyer that he was. 

“He shredded the punching bag in the morning.” Aditya handed me the coffee and a plate of potato wedges. Thanking him, I concentrated on Shravan again. “He has changed a lot, hasn't he?” 

“Hm. He is not the one to blame though.” I sighed. The last couple of weeks were very tiring for me. The things I wanted to tell Shravan, and I knew what the repercussions of those would be were eating me out.

“I hope you remember what he has done to you too. It's not your fault. I know you tried — everyone knows, Suman. You waited for him, hell, you are still waiting for him. The way you are handling everything calmly, I could never imagine someone else doing it.” Aditya studied me for a while, “Everything will be fine, Suman, he will understand.” He didn't sound convincing at all, “You know I'll always support you, no matter what, right?” 

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