Midnight Eclipse (Paranormal Viking Romance, Completed)

Chapter 20: I'm Not The Monster

Greenland, 15th century

Time becomes unimportant as I follow the natural rhythm of the beast that possesses my body. Days or weeks may have passed, but an animal doesn't keep track of such numbers. I hunt with bared fangs and extended claws during the light hours and I sleep in human skin in the darkness. My dreams are plagued with urges of the beast: to crush bones and watch blood drip onto white fur, but the carnage is colored by the guilt of a man.

Sometimes, I see him. My father. I dream of digging my teeth into his throat. I don't feel guilty about those dreams.

I wish I was no longer a man. To forever walk in the skin of a bear would be so much easier. Because does it really matter who I am when no one sees me? It only adds to my agony to regain human logic and pain for a few dark hours.

This morning, just like the countless days or weeks that have passed of this existence, I exit the cave and feel my body change. It's an empowering feeling that I relish. I become stronger and wilder. I respond to stimuli I barely recognize; the smallest sound makes my ear twitch and the faintest movement is registered by my all-seeing eyes. The world appears different in the view of the predator: colors blur together into a mess but movement and heat stand out like stars in the night sky.

I no longer hurt in this form. I no longer love. I no longer dwell on the past. I only exist in the here and now. All traces of Björn gets pushed down beneath white fur.

For as long as daylight holds, I hunt for prey. Usually, I walk along the shoreline to find my prey. Seals are the easiest catch, as their rotund bodies move slowly on land. But I move quickly, snatching up my dinner before it can escape into the icy abyss. Sea birds and their eggs also make for tasty treats. The polar sea nourishes me and fills my belly to the brim most days. A bear needs to eat in the fall before it's time for hibernation. I look forward to the long slumber of forgetfulness.

But this day, the seals have vanished and the birds scatter before I can ascend on them. I prowl the waterline all day but as dusk begins to fall, I realize I need to find another source to feed me. Otherwise, hunger will plague me all night.

I know there's a stream where I can prowl for fish on my way back to the cave. Hopefully, I will be able to catch something before darkness fall and I'm trapped in my useless human form once again. A trout isn't as filling as a fat seal, but a couple of them will vanquish my hunger for at least a few hours. The problem with a huge bear body is the huge amounts of food needed to fuel the mass. I exist in a constant fog of hunger. All that matters is eating.

A movement sparks my heightened senses. I react before I can even think, although bear thoughts aren't very rational anyway. My legs kick up moss and leaves in the chase for whatever animal lurks in the periphery. Its smell is strong: salt, blood, and fear.

Giant paws land upon bone, pinning the scared creature to the ground. I gaze into panicked eyes that strike a core of recognition deep underneath my animalistic instincts.

I know those eyes. Blue and free like the stream behind us. That is the unmistakable gaze of my brother.

His name escapes my raging and hungry mind--my lips wouldn't be able to utter the syllables anyway--but I know who he is. The only one of my siblings who still live.

My teeth and claws want to take his life but my heart resists. Human memory fights against predatory urge.

The last rays of the setting sun illuminate his struggle, as he fights with every muscle and bone to escape my grasp. He doesn't know it's me. How would he? In his mind, I'm dead and forgotten. Another victim of the harsh life on this forsaken island. I wonder what my father told him about my death. Certainly not the truth.