The Traitor's Tears

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The smell of lavender tea was always soothing to Mac'hla.

They stared out their window, freshly showered, wrapped in a blanket, with a hot cup of lavender tea.

Mac'hla unconsciously ran her fingers up and down the new scar on their abdomen finding comfort in the sensation.

Mac'hla had a realization when she undressed for her shower.

They thought they hated themselves with all of those scars, but the relief they felt when they could see them again after washing off the multiple colors of blood was euphoric.

Each of the scars she had was another story to tell.

From the little circle on the top of their foot from a hot ember to the two foot gash from a bat'leth, they were all imperfectly perfect.

Her door chimed and she groaned quietly, too tired to stand and answer it.

"Enter." she said softly.

In walked a pajama-clad Kirk.

"Maggie." he said, "How are you feeling?"

"I am quite well, sir. How are you?" they replied.

"I'm alright given the circumstances." he sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed, "That was quite the performance."

"Yes, I almost convinced myself."

Jim looked out the window, "I hurt you."

"I was already hurt, Captain. If it makes you feel any better, I was in shock so I felt no pain."

"It really doesn't." he muttered, "I slammed you against the nav. I verbally battered you, I–"

"Captain, if I had been working under section 31 then you would not feel this way." Mac'hla said, "So I see no logic in feeling it now."

"If you were working under section 31 and you had given up federation secrets you would be as good as dead, Maggie. I now know that you were putting on a show and I fell for it."

"That was the point sir." she said, sipping her tea, "I mean not to comment on your acting capabilities, but if you had known it was all a ruse you would not have been able to provide such a genuine response. In order for me to deceive the klingons I had to deceive you, and the entire crew, as well."

"I know you're trying to justify my actions, but-"

"I am not." Mac'hla interrupted again. "But I am trying to tell you that you have nothing to apologize for."

"I still want to." he sighed.

"A human weakness– feeling as if you have to apologize for something irrelevant." they said, cuddling deeper into their blanket.

"It's not irrelevant to me, so just let me get this damn apology out, will you?" he asked, growing frustrated about her indifference.

"I understand what you are trying to say, sir. And I appreciate it." Mac'hla assured him.

Jim sighed, "I was blinded by anger. I thought you had betrayed us."

"Sir," Mac'hla asked, finally looking at him, "You seemed to care more about the fact that I was working under section 31, not that I had shared Federation secrets. Why is that?"

"Because believe it or not, I care about you. Everyone in this crew is important. They have a life; a story. I thought that this whole time everything we had experienced was just a lie, and it hurt. I felt like the friendship I have with you was fake."

Mac'hla tilted her head, "I can understand why that would be painful. While Vulcans do not use the term 'friend' the same way humans do, I can say that you are my friend, in every interpretation of the word, and I will always believe that. You have had far too big of an impact on me for me to think otherwise. I hold everything I have experienced alongside you close to me, and I do not plan on forgetting it."

Jim stared at her, "That was... rather profound. Thank you, Maggie."

"You are welcome sir."

Kirk and Mac'hla stared out the window into the starry sky in comfortable silence.

"I thought the whole falling to your knees and wailing thing was a nice touch." he said suddenly.

"Thank you, I did too." Mac'hla said, a small proud smile on their lips, "Can I interest you in a cup of tea, sir?"

Jim smiled and squeezed Mac'hla's shoulder, "Thank you, Lieutenant. I would love one."