Redamancy

Chapter 2-Drapetomania

I trudged through the plain hallway, I didn't want to be here but I had no choice. My English lecture room came into view, and I couldn't help but dread the assignment I had to turn in.

'Write about your favourite quote, and tell me how it changed you.' I chose Edgar Allen Poe and his quote 'I remained too much inside my head and ended up loosing my mind'. The words empathised with me, I felt their sorrow because I too had lost my mind.

I walked in, handing my paper to professor Holloway, she gave me a pitiful smile I seemed to get a-lot these days.

The class droned on, I barely stayed awake if I'm being truthful. My mind was too crowded with my thoughts, so much so that I sometimes felt my eyes droop from their lack of will to continue being open.

The door opened and everyone looked towards the intrusion, the receptionist was stood looking right at the teacher. "Sorry Miss, is Margot Wilson in this class?"

Everyone turned their attention to me and in that moment I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

"Uh that's me." I raised my hand, gaining her attention.

"Can you get your things and follow me sweetheart?" She looked to me and smiled at me the same way Mrs. Holloway did.

"Sure, ok." I stood up with uncertainty but grabbed my bag anyway, tossing it over my shoulder. I could sense everyone still burning holes into my head from staring, there was no doubt that it was unbelievably embarrassing.

With my back to the class, I now exited through the door, following the receptionist. I was so embarrassed, I wished something dramatic would happen in that room for the sake of saving me from my humiliation.

I soon rejected my confusion as to why I was taken from class when I remembered what day it was, Tuesday, it was one of the three days I had therapy.

"I trust you know where to go sweetheart?" I nodded at the woman, she then turned and walked back to her desk.

I still remember the first time I had been to therapy, I can still recall walking in, feeling the warmth surround me from the centre's somewhat comforting atmosphere. I didn't, and still don't, see the point in going, yet here I was stood in front of the white door adorned with the metal name tag 'Dr. Wright– campus therapist'.

I knocked then turned the silver doorknob to enter. I gave a quick hello and sat down, trying not to be awkward but failing miserably.

"Good afternoon Maggie, I'd like to get straight into todays session, ok?"

I nodded, Dr. Wright said she wanted to talk about my brother. I could feel my eyes begin to glaze over with tears, just his name brought me pain.

"What about him?" My voice betrayed me, it demonstrated my sadness.

"You loved Marco, didn't you?" What a stupid question that is, of course I loved my brother.

"Yes." I stated matter-of-factly.

"How much?" She asked.

"Does it matter?" I looked at her directly in the eyes.

"Why wouldn't it?" She cocked her head to the side again.

"Because it wasn't enough to make him stay." I looked away from her, why did she have to bring up this?

"Would you like a tissue?" Shit, I was crying.

I shook my head, if I didn't want to leave before, I definitely do now.

"Maggie, it's ok to cry." She came and sat next to me, "he died, it's normal to be sad about it."

I couldn't listen to her talk about him, so I got up and I walked out.

I wasn't sure where I was going, but I had to leave. I didn't care about my stupid degree, I just needed to start fresh, leave everything behind.

So that's exactly what I would do.

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A/n: yo! But if a short chapter but it's more of a 'start of the journey' thing. Hope you enjoy! Also. Drapetomania is the overwhelming urge to run away

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