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A/N: a break from the Christmas chapters you give you whatever this even is. Someone private messaged me a suggestion so I just kind of went with it and yeah here you go I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

CW: smut (obviously), frotting, orgasm control, some dirty talk, Ant & Five being fucking idiots

"Do you think my dick is bigger than yours?"

Five had to stop what he was doing for a moment just to even process how casually the sentence had come out of his husband's mouth. He then looked up from his book, a complete look of bewilderment present on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes slightly squinted.

"What?" was all he could say.

Anthony just looked back at him with a look that just displayed total innocence. "I asked if you thought my dick was bigger than yours," he repeated.

"No," Five shook his head. "No I heard you the first time I'm just...? Why would you even ask that?"

He shrugged, "Just curious," Anthony smiled at him as if was just any normal question. "You want to see if it is or not?" he asked.

Five raised an eyebrow; this was a very clear and kind of stupid provocative challenge that Anthony setting out with clear intentions, and as much as didn't want to fall for the obvious bait, the fact he could already feel himself getting hard just at the topic of conversation almost made that impossible.

"Why not?" he agreed inevitably, answering as if it was something so normal and not at all to do with his sudden arousal and hardening length. Five unbuttoned his white suit shirt and then pulled it off first, pulling it over his arms and then tossing it to the floor carelessly.

Anthony tried not to ogle at his toned stomach and his bare chest, "I don't know what part of this requires you to take your shirt off, but I'm not going to complain," he commented.

"Mm," Five hummed, reaching forward and touching the hem of his partner's shirt. "Take it off."

He almost did a double take, despite the fact that he had allowed Five to see him many times before, he still couldn't deny just how insecure he was of his own body. Anthony shook his head slightly, "Five-"

"I said take it off," Five repeated again, looking his lover in the eye and watching as he slowly pulled the white t-shirt over his head and throwing it away into the same place that he had thrown his previously.

Anthony stood up first, pulling off his grey sweatpants and sitting back down right next to his partner, pressing up against his slightly, his face already red as if he hasn't been the one to initiate this entire dramatic show. "I still think mines bigger," he shrugged as he leaned closer to him.

Five's hand wrapped around both of their cocks, pressing them together, already hearing Anthony make a noise from next to him. "I doubt it," he commented as he shifted his hips slightly. "Bottoms are bottoms for a reason, darling."

"I could be a top if I wanted to," Anthony gasped as he felt Five's hand move against him. "I just choose not to, plus I know for a fact I'm never getting your egocentric ass to ever submit to anyone," he added.

This clearly wasn't anything to do with whatever competition Anthony had started out, and as much as Five wanted to tell him that if he wanted to have sex then he could've just asked, it was still slightly entertaining to do something so ridiculous.

"To anyone?" Five asked, his hand still holding onto both of them and pressing them together. "You're saying you'd be okay with it if I went off with someone else as long as I submitted?" he teased.

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