And To All A Good Night [h.s. one shots]

Acquiescence by dontyaworrydarlin

  Acquiescence

The reluctant acceptance of something without protest

Dedication:

To those that have struggled, you have every ounce of my love.

Warnings:

This short story will feature the following:

Infidelity, Emotional Abuse & the trials and tribulations of being unable to get pregnant.

I know this isn't for everyone so please, do not read if this isn't for you. Kisses. X

PREFACE:

"I pledge to love you, honour you, worship the ground you walk upon...my wife,"

No one tells you about the inevitable tsunami. The one with raging tides that gradually build until you're swept from under your feet. No bouy. No life jacket. Nothing to clutch onto.

No one tells you about the drop-off in the ocean with nothing but darkness underneath. The void. The one where it swallows you whole and leaves you fighting for your own breath.

This is the tsunami that swept me into the void.

"Baby," he breathes, clutching onto my hands tightly as we sit in a white waiting room with pictures of babies on every wall. I watch the moms with their kids, the snot running down their noses and the little giggles as they run around.

My hand comes to lay over my own stomach subconsciously. I feel as though my own body is betraying me. This body is made to do one thing, create another human life and I feel as though I've failed at that.

I turn to look at Tomas, my eyes searching for anything at this point. This is our fourteenth appointment. Our third doctor. Waiting rooms like these have become my second home and it's the same thing every time.

"I'm sorry. It seems as if there is too much scarring. The egg didn't take."

We'd go to another doctor.

The same thing. A constant cycle, one that feels like a Stanley parable.

I continue to stare at Tomas, trying to pinpoint how he's feeling but how can I when I don't even know how I'm feeling?

A mixture of dread? Hope? Hope that I know will soon be crushed? Or maybe I'm simply numb from receiving the same news, the same sentences just in different octaves.

"I know that today I'll be saying, 'I do'...but for me. Bella. That translates to I will. I will take your hand and stand by you for the good and the bad. I'll be your shelter for the bad days."

"Isabella Reynolds?" The sound of the doctor breaks me from my stupor and I slowly rise, Tomas' hand falling from mine as I smooth out my skirt.

It's the same walk. Twelve steps to the door. A smile. Pee in a cup. Another smile. Five steps to the exam room. We wait.

We wait for what feels like an eternity but I know it's only been five minutes because I obsess over the time.

I cross one leg over the other.

It's been six minutes.

Tomas clears his throat, the only sound besides the clicking of heels outside of the exam room.