in my own summer | norenmin

chapter 01 | how did it end up here ?

jeno could taste the blood in his mouth — metallic and salty and strong. his nose is throbbing with pain, and his half-lidded eyes glance toward the mirror, seeing blood run down from his nose. he can almost bring himself to smile—a mark of a good fight, huh?

his brother hands him another piece of tissue ripped into a small enough one to be shoved up his nose to soak up all the bleeding. any trace of concern on jungwoo's face was not there, completely gone. instead, he was pissed, eyebrows furrowed and eyes blazing. finding his brother on his doorstep at his his flat instead of their parents' house, having just gotten into a fight with some other neighbourhood kids.

"what the fuck happened this time?" he decides to finally ask.

"i got into a fight with two other guys," jeno says simply, sticking the ripped tissue up his bleeding nostril. "over—"

"i don't even wanna know," jungwoo says furiously. "it's always the same shit, jeno. honestly, where would you be right now if it wasn't for me? it won't always be like that—"

"i know," jeno retorts flatly. jungwoo was the older brother he looked up to for everything, the person who guided him through everything alongside his parents. if anything, he had an easier time being relatable by only being four years older.

if he couldn't come to his parents over them not understanding his issues, jungwoo was always there to help. but, all the fights jeno engaged himself in during his last years of high school, their relationship soured. his once warm older brother went cold and icy and closed off. yet, jeno still clung onto him if it meant avoiding their parents when he felt like it.

"so start acting like it. i can't constantly help you out and be the place to go when you don't face our dads," jungwoo continues on harshly. he said every word with the intention to dig deep. "i'm moving with my boyfriend to hong kong."

there goes the sudden bomb shell. jeno's eyes widen and he nearly wants to burst out laughing—he's lying, isn't he? he's just saying it as a way to get jeno to stop showing up to his flat as an escape. so he only has to see him on holidays and whenever his parents want to visit him. he can't be telling the truth—

"what?" jeno finally manages to mumble, dumbfounded.

"yeah, i'm not lying," jungwoo hisses. "i don't lie."

"do...do they know?"

"well, not exactly," jungwoo looks away. that seems to have struck a cord in him. "they won't approve because we're not married. yet. they don't even know i proposed to him recently either...."

"so, you don't lie but love keeping shit from them?" jeno frowns. "i thought i couldn't do that. why are you any different?"

"the difference is i'll tell them," jungwoo argues back. "you never do and expect me to do everything for you, even when you're twenty and a fucking adult. just...clean up and then leave my flat. i don't want you here."

those words hurt, like knives being stabbed into him. yet, those words just triggered him to do something he would never do—tell a secret. if jungwoo can blab on the phone to his parents what jeno told him not too—all the fights with other teens in school, the detentions—he can tell jungwoo's, too.

he ends up getting back home late, jeno's cheek noticeably bruised and his still red cut just above his left eyebrow. a chilly breeze blows past, but jeno hardly shivers in reaction.

he wasn't sure how to feel. he and his brother had already grown apart, so ruined they seem more like enemies than loving brothers. yet, wherever jungwoo was, he felt safer. after a rough day, he could hide there until he felt like actually going home. now, he was going to leave. he'll miss him but at the same time, he had been so terrible to him recently—yet, he clings on desperately. perhaps because of the rose-tinted glasses from their shared childhood.