in my own summer | norenmin

chapter 04 | i don't talk

jeno hasn't talked to anyone in a while. especially jay.

and jaemin.

they exchanged numbers to keep contact with each other, yet they haven't said much since they day they went for coffee. all he's done recently is lay around in his room and let his tears fall every now and then.

his parents don't seem to really understand why he was so upset. his bedsheets always seem so wet these days. his brother still hasn't bothered to call him or text, to see how he's doing, or rightfully get mad at him for not being there when he left. just silence. the last text sent was i'm sorry.

jeno never said anything back.

eventually, his door opens. one of his parents without them knocking on the door as usual. it was doyoung, several clothes draped on his arm. he looks sympathetic when he says, "your friend is here."

"who?"

"mark," doyoung says softly. "he said he wanted to talk to you. something important-he wouldn't tell me."

jeno groans. he doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. yet, he forces himself to get up and head downstairs to peek out of the slightly open front door. sure enough, mark was standing there on the doorstep, pushing his glasses up a little bit further up his nose.

"hey," jeno says.

"you sound quite literally dead inside," mark remarks with a head tilt. "and i'm worried, nono. you don't hang out with the others anymore-"

"neither do you do," jeno counters and mark goes red.

"actually, i do," mark shoots back. "especially recently. you're all my friends that i've known for a long time, especially you and yang and jun. but, anyways, that's not what i'm here to talk about! it's asking if you're okay."

mark finally get let inside and they both sit in on the couch. jeno stays silent as mark goes on and on.

"-and honestly, everyone's concerned to all hell because you've never shut yourself off and away from us like this," mark continues on, glancing over at his friend with his arms crossed. there was a certain way he held himself, straight and almost proudly, like he knew everything.

from all the tests and quizzes he would ace in school without failure, that proved to be justified in a way.

"hm."

"a man of many words, aren't you?" mark sighs, closing his eyes briefly. "look, je, just come with us to the bowling alley tonight. it'll do good to be around your friends again."

suppose it will, jeno thinks unenthusiastically. how would hanging out with his friends help improve his regret and guilt? he wants to stay in his room and cry more until he sleeps well into the next day, but mark urges him enough to agree to it.

he barely puts in the effort to make himself look presentable for others to see. he throws on a basic outfit-black and white as usual-and uses eyeliner to hope it distracts from the growing faint darkening circles under his eyes. he stepped into his bathroom to check his appearance in the mirror-his hair was a little messy, sticking out in several places. a far cry from his typical neatness.

"i look like shit," he says aloud to himself. then, oddly, he laughs. "i look fucking terrible."

even his eyeliner job was a little off, even though he had used his phone to properly check what he was even doing. he smiles, even though he feels more tears starting to randomly come. but, he forces them back to not ruin his work and heads back to his room and uses his phone to help draw a small heart on his cheek with a black market.