Your dreams

Chapter 18

The first thing Lan Wangji noticed was that someone was crying and panicking right next to him, calling his name nonstop in a more and more broken tone each time. The second thing was, that that someone's voice was very familiar. In fact, it was the only voice he wanted to hear right now. It was Wei Ying, his Wei Ying.

But why was he in such distress? It was clear from the other's voice that he was on a brink of a panic attack, if he was not already having one. Someone – Wei Ying for sure – was clutching his hand so hard it actually hurt. His palms were ice cold but sweaty at the same time. They were trembling too.

Realizing all this, Lan Wangji's eyes shot wide open and scanned the unfamiliar room for his husband. After several tries, he finally found the figure and was able to focus his eyes on it. For some reason, his vision kept getting blurry and it was hard to retain concentration.

"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying called out to him again, brokenly and wretchedly. As if his whole world had just crumbled and there was no way forward anymore.

Lan Wangji wanted to tell his husband that he was fine now. He wanted to reassure him, if nothing else. Since Wei Ying had his head buried in his hands which were clutching hard one of Lan Wangji's, he could have not seen that he did not have to weep so pitifully anymore. Lan Wangji was awake and more or less present. There was nothing his husband should be worried about.

Lan Wangji opened his mouth to do just that, but realized that he could not speak a single word. His throat was parched and there was no way his voice would make it through. At this point, he was starting to panic himself. He needed to find a way to console Wei Ying, it hurt seeing him in so much pain. He tried to move his hand, the one that his husband was holding, to let the other know he was awake, but he could not even do that much. His body was refusing to listen to him.

In his heart, he was bubbling with frustration. To what end served his many years of cultivation when he did not have any strength in the moment it mattered the most? He was angry with himself, what was he doing if he could not even sooth and reassure his own husband at a time like this?

"Wuxian, look."

Luckily, and to his never-ending relief, it seemed like he and his husband were not the only people in the room. His eyes strayed for just a fraction of a second a little above Wei Ying's shoulder, to where the voice of his brother had come from. True enough, Lan Xichen was standing behind the crying former demonic cultivator and gently but urgently tapping his back to both sooth him and get his attention. He was speaking in a low voice, however, it still rung like shouting in Lan Wangji's ears. Together with his husband's distress, he was getting overwhelmed and even more frustrated at his inability to properly move or do anything right now.

Upon Lan Xichen's prompting, Wei Ying suddenly stopped crying, as if he held his breath, and slowly lifted his head. Lan Wangji did his best to retain clarity in his vision, he would do anything not to lose the chance to finally see his soulmate's face properly.

He was still confused with what had happened. He remembered blocking a throwing dagger which had been about to hit Wei Ying and getting scratched by it in the process. Then, he had been back to the Cloud Recesses during the time of his youth. Nothing had gone as in the past though. He recalled Wei Ying being extremely cold to him and telling him to leave him alone. The next thing Lan Wangji did, was confess and hug him with all his might and then he woke up here. He could not make sense of the events, especially the reason why he had been having such a terrible nightmare and why he had had no memories of his lifetime with Wei Ying during his sleep.

All of these questions could wait though. His husband was now looking at him, his eyes very red and puffy, he must have been crying for a while already. Luckily, his pained expression quickly brightened when he saw that Lan Wangji was awake. He went from a complete wreck to his usual smiling self in a matter of a single heartbeat.

"Lan Zhan," he whispered hoarsely, "oh, Lan Zhan..."

It looked like he wanted to say much more, but he went silent, fighting with overwhelm. Lan Wangji understood the emotion, he was no less distressed and relieved. This was the Wei Ying he knew, not the one from his nightmare. He almost wanted to cry with how much he had missed his husband. He would not have survived any longer in a world where his soulmate was not by his side.

Suddenly, Wei Ying could not bear the separation for another second. In this aspect, they never had to say a single world and they always understood each other. He leaned down to hug Lan Wangji as much as he could given the awkward position.

Lan Wangji's heart immediately slowed down, content. This was all he needed. Although he way still laying on his back and could not move an inch, this was perhaps the best hug ever. Only, it was sad that his body was still not willing to cooperate and return it. Looking back, there has been many hugs in the recent future which had gone one-sidedly, either from his side of from his husband's.

"Lan Zhan..." sniffled Wei Ying into his chest.

Lan Wangji could feel the fabric of his inner robe getting wet right where his husband's head was and he dearly wished he could move and comfort him. He had missed him as well. He could not tell how long he had been sleeping, or perhaps better description would be that he had been unconscious, but even several seconds would have already been too long. Wei Ying must have been very anxious. In the same way Lan Wangji would have been if it was his husband laying in the sick bed.

Once again, it was Lan Xichen who read his mind and hurried to help. He gently rubbed Wei Ying's back and let his hand linger to provide support and comfort. Lan Wangji's eyes flickered up from to shot him a quick look full of gratitude. Lan Xichen gave him a small smile in return.

Even as his expression remained worried, he reassured: "Wuxian, it is alright now. You brought him back." He patted the former demonic cultivator's back again before whispering more to himself than to anyone else: "You really brought him back..."