If poetry wasn't meant to be felt then why does every word hit your chest as if you re-lived a certain moment?
If poetry wasn't made to be relatable then why does every line feel so close as if you wrote the piece yourself?
We've all been there an...
To the first man I caught feelings for. Yes, we had the same feelings but I wish I could tell you the truth and strangle you with words. I can't because I choke every time I go to speak.
***
For strolling into my life and catching my shade, though I threw it by default I knew I couldn't keep it up. For the laughs you effortlessly pulled from my stomach, the laugh that deafened your ears and made heads turn but it only encouraged you to do it more.
For the compliments you paid—the ones that no one else ever has because you knew they would make a permanent stain in my brain. For fuelling my fire knowing you'd catch the flames, but being the one to put them out. Your ways weren't unique by any means but ways I'd rarely seen and they did something to me.
For looking past my mask and disrespecting my boundaries; nurturing the girl beneath the surface and giving her the comfort she and I both needed. For the gentle persistency in invading my space because you knew I hated touch but it'd grown accustomed to yours.
For keeping me hooked by being the good guy; probably the first good guy I know. I'm not saying it was an act, though I should've known better than to think there was never a flip side, even if you didn't mean it. For keeping it fun and entertaining, before I knew it I was spilling my sheet secrets and you never even touched me to find them out.
You threw things upside down. You made me dizzy in the process. You caught me when I tripped but you also watched me fall and did nothing about it. While there was no one better I could let my guard down with, assure I will never do it again. I wish I could but there's nothing I can say, not when I've already said too much. But I can say fuck you. The only way I can possibly show gratitude and the only way I know how to say goodbye.
Fuck you.
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