AMEINIAS

I Wish You A Speedy Recovery

I am glad to be rid of him – the man who wasted my time, my heart, my tears,  my life.
It is a month later and I am beginning on the road to recovery. I have heard rumours that Narcissus has made no signs of change, not even through a simple facial expression. He expects to be saved because he did nothing to deserve this. HA! Alright, stay in your delusions and suffer because of it. I don't care anymore, not even enough to take some joy out of your misery.

I write now not for myself but for those who are like me and have had their own Narcissus. Memories of him oversaw my construction and they were my greatest grief. I had to pull them apart and place other memories down in their stead and slowly but surely build myself back up again. It hasn't all been plain sailing. As much as I want to, his existence does not fade from my mind but perhaps it doesn't need to, so that I am more careful in the future with whom I place my trust.

I feel the bee's sting of anxiety, from time to time, when I think of Narcissus. I think that I don't want to lose him fully, for all the happiness he once brought me and the future that we had discussed that was no longer possible. I couldn't flutter in and out of his life as I pleased, though. He had done that to me before, so I knew how awful it felt, to think you'd done something wrong, then wait for them to come back, over and over again.

The underworld has been a good place for me. I cannot reach him and he cannot reach me, although I am scared for when he dies and I might see him. Never trust the word of a deity, but Nemesis has been kind to me, telling me that I would never see Narcissus again. Sometimes I hated her for it, if I am honest, releasing me of the burden of him. Although his burdens were not mine, he was my burden. Now I realise that Nemesis was right.

Little things remind me of him. He haunts me, when I allow it. Why else would I be writing this? I am afraid to publish the finished works, for he may know how many times he has crossed my mind (at least a few each day) and he would gloat. This isn't for him, his ego, his peace of mind. I'm giving him a piece of mine. It's so that others are not lured into his trap, or those of his followers, who are more than likely unaware that they are.

This is for me. This is for Echo. This is for anyone who understands my language, whether they speak it or not.

I am staring right through your soul.