Has it really been so long since my last update?
First of all, it is not him I think of so much any longer. I have no regrets. I am glad to be free. More than that, even when I am at my most desperate and desolate, I no longer feel the urge to get into contact with Narcissus once more. Even if I had the opportunity, I would not take it; Nemesis had actually tested me with it once and I'd passed. Perhaps I felt smug that he wasn't doing good and I am a bad person for it but now I could not care less how he does, so long as I never hear of him. If he has friends, I hope he has learned to care for their hearts truly and properly and they will never have to feel as I did.
However, I have not become a brand new person overnight. I have been diligent in rebuilding my life and creating new connections and memories but I recognise patterns. I make excuses for everyone else still when I become upset. I speak with them about it with as much understanding as I can muster and it is so strange when they are not angry with me. Always I prepare for it and I prepare to be alone again. I keep more to myself; not one other person will know everything about me, though Krokus has come close. I am not as ambitious as I used to be because I have been too busy taking care of my mind, hence this is the first time in a while I have written.
The pain of the situation is in the past, although the pain of the repercussions is not.
I think I will have these issues for a long while. Only so long as they serve to protect me, I do not mind. If they hurt the ones I love, I do mind. Sometimes, I think of the source. I had never felt such venom in my veins; such an intoxicating fury. I had only let out so many tears when my pets had all died. Now that I do not blame myself for Narcissus, I hope I never feel anything such as he unleashed again, and I've not let anyone get so close to it.
I wanted to document this journey to bring hope to others. I thought it would take longer for me to reach this point, but it didn't. I'm SO proud of myself. Reader, your recovery will look different to mine but please do not fret. You can do this and remember: you are not alone.
YOU ARE READING
AMEINIAS
Short StorySo often we hear of what befell Narcissus, of how he was condemned to forever gaze upon his own reflection, doomed to wither away. Never do we hear of how he abused those around him, unrelenting and unaware. While Echo may not speak of it, Ameinias...
