Chapter 11: Grief Sedated by Orgasms

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Time

“We’re home,” I told Kinn over the phone. “He’s a bit shaken but he’ll be fine. How did it go on your end?”

“It’s been taken care of,” he assured me. “He’s dead. We also managed to get the information he has been holding over everyone’s head.”

“That makes you the most powerful man in Thailand at the moment.”

He laughed lightly. “Nobody is as powerful as we make them out to be.”

“What was it that he was holding against Tae? What did he have on me?”

“You should speak to him,” he said. “He was willing to sacrifice his life to keep it a secret. It’s his secret to tell now.”

“Mmm. I have to go. We’ll speak later.”

The silence in our penthouse was ominous.

Tem was in the bathroom preparing a bath. Trembling, Tae stood by our bedroom window staring outside at the city lights. His white satin pajamas were stained by the splatter of blood- at the sleeves of his shirt and the front. Some of it has snuck it was to his neck and chest.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind, putting the trembling to a halt. I could feel his heart beating against my chest like the pounding of a drum. I couldn’t tell if he was still scared, or if he was traumatized by what he had done. It didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered except him. I planted soft kisses in his hair, moving to his cheek and back again, over and over again.

Tae spun around to face me. His perfect teeth flashed like sunshine against the ink of space He raised his hand to touch my face as if to confirm I was real.

“I missed you,” he said. “This feels unreal.”

“I missed you more.” His presence overwhelmed me. His scent, his smile although contrived, the feel of him… I could breathe again. He was home. I felt my insides warm in a pleasant way. “Will you tell me what Payu was holding over you?”

Tae went rigid. A silence that pulsed with undertones hung in the air between us. Fighting not to flinch at the question, he glanced at me, his features tight with apprehension. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

I wanted to push for answers. I wanted to know what it was that was so bad that had pushed him to trade his life for me. It maddened me but looking into his eyes, seeing the slight trembling of his body despite trying to keep his composure, I couldn’t do it.

Instead, I kissed him and maybe it felt like being inside an exploding star because it had been so long. Time and space became trivial. Tae slipped his arms under mine, clinging to me, my body the only thing stopping him from shaking.

"I am so sorry, Time," he said as he kissed me. "I am so sorry that I was too stubborn to let my ego get in between us. I am sorry that I couldn't forgive you and we both almost paid for it."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Everything that happened was my fault. You did nothing wrong."

"I almost got us killed. You were right not to trust him but I was so angry."

"And your anger was justified. You wouldn't have known that he was crazy. You never have to apologize for it. I, on the other hand, have the rest of our lives to make up for the hurt I put you through."

“Start by making me forget everything … please,” he begged against my lips.

“Let’s clean you up first… Wash the blood off and you can make me do whatever it is you want me to.”

“No.” He sunk his teeth into my lower lips and tiptoed to match my height. “Now. The way I am… I want you desperately.”

Tae’s eyes blinked rapidly as he stared back at the surprise on my face.

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