Starfish

26.2

Ardus lay in the huge bath basin in his apartment, steaming himself through the chills and guzzling glass after glass of sailorfruit juice blended with ice. The ice-headache was better than the muscle and joint pain. He held his half-full glass against his head and willed the pounding to go away so he could think. Down his legs and arms, faint points of light glittered under the steaming water and Ardus glared at them. Stop it, I am not ready for this! He'd read what he could for an hour, trying to find something that would stop, delay or soothe the oncoming flood of testosterone and androgens. After that hour, the intense heat burning in his core was unbearable and Ardus had fairly thrown himself into a freezing-cold shower. Now he sat in a steaming bath, his shoulders twitching and his abdominal muscles quivering as he felt the heat from inside turn to ice. Except for the hot, throbbing, insistent ache in his groin and thighs, which was growing more demanding by the minute it seemed.

Sinking miserably up to his nose in the water, Ardus closed his eyes and tried to think. Thinking hurt, as did moving in any capacity, but he had to do it. Everything hurts, even my skin hurts. Ardus knew he should contact his physician, but at the moment he wanted to do little more than lie very still and try not to aggravate his already sore, inflamed tissues. It must have something to do with his pores, the chemical reactions and hormonal responses that caused them to glow. Perhaps there was a drug, something meant for Dreen in transition or with glandular problems. Nia would know, I should call her. But if he did that, he would have to explain to her why he wanted hormonal blockers. Most of the resources he'd found suggested self-soothing – working out his new frustrations by hand, as it were – before moving on to rigorous exercise to shed the extra energy and prescribed medication to ease the symptoms. 

For the moment his pores were barely pinpricks, random scattered dots of faint color on his arms, legs and chest. None on his face yet, Ardus was relieved to note. I can hide my arms and legs, but my face... As long as his face remained dark, at least until he could get some semblance of control over his symptoms, Ardus felt fairly confident he could arrange some kind of retreat until he could return to work. There would be Athe to contend with, coming by to do his regularly scheduled chores and whatever shopping Ardus might need, and Ardus knew he could trust Athe to keep his mouth shut. He could work from home if necessary, uploading and downloading files from his personal terminal, sending Athe on errands as he needed. Meem and Nia would have to be content with conference calls, and Nina...

Ardus grunted as his lower abdomen throbbed at the thought of Nina. This is all because of her, I am certain. Rubbing his belly, massaging his tender muscles and irritated flesh, he tried not to think of Nina in ways that would further agitate his hormonal state. But all he could think of were her bare, brown legs, her smooth back with those maddening little dimples above her hips, her long, soft hair that smelled of something sweet and clean, her little hand folded in his palm, wrapped around the silver hair-ring he'd given from his own head. I wonder if she will wear it. He tried not to think of how her breasts strained against the pink fabric of her tiny swimsuit, how the strings that kept it precariously tied on pressed into her flesh. She is so round, so soft, so infuriatingly cute. He knew his imagination was getting away with him, but it was difficult to stop without his body twitching and aching in protest. His massaging turned to probing, his fingers searching for the curled mass just behind his pelvis and coaxing it out with gentle pressure. Thinking about Nina's hips, her gorgeous bronze skin and eyes like a storm, Ardus's organ slid into his hand and he moaned. Just to take the edge off, ease the throbbing for a while...

Sliding down into the steaming water he braced one arm over the side of the basin and held on, beginning a steady, slow stroke with the other. The water felt good, loosening tight muscles and expanding capillaries, feeling almost as warm as he imagined Nina would feel. Ardus imagined her willing, her arms (and other parts) open to him, inviting and ready. Ardus imagined her reaction to him, her eyes widening in surprised delight when she saw what he had to offer. He wondered if she could handle him, if her tiny human body could accommodate his shape, his size. Would she understand what was happening to him, would she want to help him? He imagined the kind of "help" she might give, pressing her soft little body against his and wrapping her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. He would have to be careful, would have to be able to keep his head about him enough to not hurt her. I would not be able to live with myself if I did.